What is 'Normal' Anyway?
by Tribal Matriach
Summary: Sam just wanted a normal relationship... there's no such thing.
1. Chapter 1

1

"JACK!" the sound tore out of her throat as she sat up suddenly, her eyes were wide and tears were streaming down her face, but it was obvious she was not properly awake. "JACK!" she screamed again.

He grabbed hold of her and held her tight, soothing her, trying to get her to lay back down. She struggled to rise, panic came off her in waves as he tightened his grip.

"Sam! Shhh, it's OK, it's just a dream" he told her, she looked at him, and a puzzled look came into her eyes, he hated that, every time she had a nightmare, as she woke up, she looked at him as if to say he shouldn't be there, or even… 'who are you?'

He dragged her down under the covers again, she was shaking "want to tell me about it?" he asked, she shook her head "you sure?" she burrowed her face into his chest and gave him her usual answer.

"Sorry, I'm tired, let's just go back to sleep" he could do that, time enough to sort it out tomorrow.

**0o0o0o **

She woke first, she usually did, he only woke up when he heard the door bell. He had a quick shower and got dressed, maybe he could find out what was wrong at last.

She was sat in the kitchen when he came out, a young girl of about 16 or 17 with her, he nodded at the child, who looked like she had been crying a lot, and got himself a coffee.

"Any plans for today?" he asked "thought we could go for a picnic at the Garden of the Gods"

"Pete…" she hesitated "this is Cassie, she's going to be living here from now on" he put his cup down before he could drop it. THIS could put a cramp on his plans, he hadn't planned on company, especially a 16 year old chaperone.

"Living here?" he asked rather stupidly "why?"

"You didn't tell him?" Cassie asked Sam

"Didn't get the chance love," she said stroking the hair away from the teens face. She turned to Pete and gave him a steady look "Janet Fraiser died on Thursday, that's why I was so upset, Cassie is…was her daughter and now she will be living with me until she starts school again"

He slightly knew Janet, when he had been shot by Daniels girlfriend Janet had been the doctor who had patched him up. The way the two of them spoke when in the same room it was obvious they were good friends, and now he could understand why Sam had been so upset when he had arrived the night before. However it did not explain why she shouted 'Jack' or even who Jack was!

"Why isn't she going to her father?" he asked, he wasn't trying to be unkind, but usually when one parent died the other took over, not a friend of the family.

"Cassie was adopted, her parents are both dead, Janets husband has nothing to do with Cass, they had been divorced over 5 years before Janet adopted her"

"Oh… well… sorry to hear that Cassie, I'm sure Sam will look after you well" it looked like the child was about to burst into tears again, damn he hated women crying, he felt so helpless, and what can you say to a child that has lost not one but 2 sets of parents?

"Is Dominic coming over?" Sam asked, Cassie nodded, obviously trying to hold back the tears. "Well when he arrives Pete and I will go into the garden so you can have some space"

"We could go for a picnic, let them have the house" he said, as soon as he did he knew it was the wrong thing to say, though he had no idea WHY it was.

"I need to be here in case she needs me" Sam snapped. Pete was saved by the door bell and when he got there he saw a young lad, obviously Dominic, he stood back and waved him in.

"They are in the kitchen" Pete said, he was surprised when the lad headed to the correct door without prompting, but then he probably had been there before.

Pete walked into the room as Cassie and Dominic were stood clasping each other, she had started crying again, Sam stood and motioned for them both to leave.

Once seated in their chairs in the garden Sam filled him in a bit on Cassies background. He was surprised to hear she was not from 'around here' she was so… normal.

Sam read a book and Pete sat watching her the majority of the time, he didn't want to say he was bored, but really, there must be more to do!

He decided to use the bathroom and made his way inside, as he was passing through the kitchen he could overhear the teens in the living room talking

"He's Sams boyfriend, I don't know a lot about him, just what my uncles have said"

"You don't seem happy about it" Dominic said

"It's just… Sam should be with Jack, no one else, and I know that none of them like him" Gee they were right when they said evesdroppers hear nothing good about themselves… he wondered who these uncles were, and what right did they have to judge him? And who the hell was this JACK? An Ex that Cassie was trying to get Sam back out with?

"Why don't they like him?"

"Don't tell Sam, I've been told she hasn't to know… but he not only stalked her to Daniels house, he tried running background checks on her, now does that sound like something a boyfriend would do?" Pete squirmed uncomfortably, when you put it like that it did sound kind of creepy, and his following her, well OK it could be classed as stalking, but he hadn't meant it like that. Thank God whoever told Cassie wasn't going to tell Sam, whoever it was must be on his side, no one else was by the looks.

"So, if he's such a psycho, why haven't they done something about him?" Dominic asked

"Supposedly it's 'Sams life and she has to make her own mistakes'" it was obvious Cassie was quoting someone. He wanted to know more, more about whoever told Cassie this stuff, who her uncles were… more!

He slipped into the bathroom and rang Dave Farrity again, well in for a penny, in for a pound as they say…

"Farrity" his friend answered.

"Hiya Dave, need another favour from you, owe you a steak if you come through" Pete said in his best wheedling voice.

"Anything like the last one Shandy and you can forget it, I have an official reprimand on my folder because of the check I did for you last month" ah! Well that put paid to that line of enquiry.

"Jeez sorry Dave, what the hell happened? You do checks on people all the time!"

"Yeah well, evidently someone up where the air is very VERY thin was not pleased at Major Carter being investigated, if you need background from now on you will have to pass it through your Captain and have proper paperwork for it. I didn't tell them I was doing you a favour but it didn't stop the very pissed off Colonel from letting me know they knew who it was. Sorry bud, even if it wasn't official, that guy scared the crap out of me"

"Forget I asked then Dave, I still owe you that steak, and sorry for getting you into bother"

"I take it that the check wasn't official business then?" he asked, Pete grunted, it was answer enough "Look Shandy, whatever it is, keep out of it man, I mean it! These guys play for keeps"

Pete spoke for a minute or so more and then hung up… if he couldn't get an official line on these people, that left the street, but he wasn't sure he knew enough about the area to go looking for people who would know. The only way he could do that was if he moved down here permanently… which he could do, he had been thinking about it. Sam was definitely worth it, and the closer he was, the more time they could spend together… the more he thought about it the better it sounded. He would look into a transfer when he got back to the station on Monday.

He washed his hands and was about to exit the room when he heard the phone ring and Cassie shouted "Sam it's Jack!"

He made his way into the kitchen after she had gone into the living room and stood beside the fridge, he could always say he wanted a beer if someone came in.

"Carter" she said as she took the phone "Yes sir" SIR? Was Jack the Colonel or the General at the base? She wasn't allowed to go out with superior officers in the same command was she? So what was Cassie going on about? "Sir… yes sir. You want to talk to her now?" evidently she handed the phone over to the girl.

"Uncle Jack?… no don't worry, no it's fine, I know you're in pain, I was staying at Sams anyway… oh yeah please, I'll ask her later, after Dominic goes home… yes I am still seeing Dominic" Sam giggled "Take care…remember what mu… what the doctor said… bye"

Sam must have taken the phone back "Sir, yes sir, is there anything you need? We can pick some stuff up… yes sir, see you later" he heard the receiver drop onto the base

"How is he… really Sam" Cassie asked, her voice showing worry that had been hidden when she spoke to the man in question.

"You know him Cassie, he would say he was fine if he lost both his legs and half his internal organs… he has a very bad burn and a couple of cracked ribs, probably a concussion too, you DO want to go see him don't you?"

"God yes!" she said "does he need anything?"

"Just some bits from home, we can pick them up when we go"

"Oh I left my keys at home" she said

"I have a set for his house" Sam said. Pete was starting to get a bad feeling about all this, why the hell would she have keys to her COs house if there wasn't something going on?


	2. Chapter 2

2

He heard movement and grabbed a beer and headed outside before they could catch him listening.

Sam came out, he tried to pull her onto the blanket on the grass with him, but she wouldn't, she sat in the chair again.

"Sam!" he said "come sit down here"

"No Pete, I… I'm not in the mood sorry" he could see she was thinking hard about something.

"Hey!" he said in a cheerful voice "How about some lunch?" She looked at her watch and nodded.

"What do you fancy" she asked and he gave her a leer and she laughed, he loved it when she laughed! "NOT that!" she told him and he pouted.

"How about we find a café and then you can do some shopping if you want, I noticed the cupboards are bare and you have an extra mouth to feed now."

She blushed "Oh god thanks! I forgot I would have to get stuff in for Cassie, what would I do without you!" THAT was more like it! He could put up with the houseguest if he could score brownie points for remembering her.

Everyone piled into his car and they went to the centre of town. They wandered up and down a few streets until they saw a place Sam recognised as serving decent food and they all went in to eat.

After lunch they were doing a bit of grocery shopping when Sams phone went off, she stood in the corner of the store while she spoke, looking around as she did, making sure no one could hear her. Her face cleared almost as soon as she started speaking and she came back to them where they were stood with the trolley. She handed the phone over to Cassie and then they continued down the aisle grabbing things that took their fancy as Cassie spoke to whoever was on the other end of the line.

They piled the shopping into the car as she closed the phone and handed it back.

"Got everything?" Sam asked her, she nodded

"I think so, though where we are going to put it…"

"Let us worry about that for now" She told the girl and hugged her. Pete had no idea what was going on, and it looked like no one was going to tell him either.

When they got back to Sams house he got his answer. Two men, both of whom he recognised from the time he had followed Sam, were unloading things into the house.

The man whose house they had been staking out was talking 19 to the dozen, and the huge black guy was saying nothing at all.

"How'd they get in?" Pete asked, as it was obvious they were not just starting

"They have keys" Sam told him… he wasn't happy at the fact that not only did Sam have keys to 'Jacks' (and he still wasn't sure if that was the Colonel or the General) but these 2 men had keys to hers, they could walk in on them at any time! That would put a damper on him if he ever wanted to try something in the living room, or kitchen… then again with a 16 year old in the house… scratch the idea altogether!

She officially introduced them, he had seen Teal'c and Daniel a couple of times when he was in base, they had come looking for Sam when she was spending time with him, but it wasn't the same. He actually knew who Daniel was, he had done a property search on the address that had been staked out, once he got back to the station and had then looked him up online. Teal'c was…alien, and unlike Cassie his manner screamed it!

They continued unloading and storing items for another 20 minutes, every time Pete offered to help he was turned down. The room Pete had thought would make a good nursery was now Cassies room, if Pete was going to put his plan for the future into action they would be needing a bigger house.

Eventually there just was nowhere to put the rest of the stuff. Daniel said they still had one more load to pick up as well, Sam told them to use 'The Colonels Garage' as he never used it. Both men agreed and when Sam asked they said they had keys, both holding up a set.

Pete actually felt better about it, now he knew they all had keys to each others places… though he did not know why… it was better than if she only had keys to just one of them. It was obviously a team thing, or a military thing. The two men left after giving Cassie a hug and a kiss. He noticed that Cass called both of them 'uncle' were these the men who didn't like him?

Cassie dragged Dominic into her room and turned on some music on the newly delivered system. Sam and Pete sat in the living room.

"Where's the other one?" he asked her casually

"Other what?" she said looking around.

"Other guy, the older one with grey hair? I thought he would have been helping, or isn't he part of the team?"

"The Colonel got injured in the same fight that Janet…" she paused, he felt bad, he shouldn't have mentioned it, but he was jealous, and he could admit it to himself. "He is still in the infirmary" So that sorted that out, Jack was the Colonel.

He pulled her into his side, holding her as she fought not to give in to tears again.

Cassie and Dominic came out after an hour or so.

"Dominic has to go home Sam" Cassie said, obviously the routine was for him to be taken as Sam jumped up and got her keys. Cassie said she would stay as there were things she wanted to do 'before we go' whatever that meant.

Sam told him she would be back soon and left with the youngster in tow.

Pete tried to talk to Cassie, he really did, but all he got back were grunts and single syllables. Eventually he turned on the TV and went to the sports channel for the game.

Cassie went back into her room and the music became louder… Pete turned up the TV so he could hear the commentator, even though he usually spent ages arguing with him! Cassie once more increased the volume, it was a good job they were in a detached house, with a decent gap between them and next door, he thought as he increased the sound again.

He was just about to turn it down… honestly he was, realising how childish it was, when Sam walked in and turned the thing off altogether. She then went to Cassies room and turned the stereo down to an acceptable level. She banged about in the kitchen for a while, making salad sandwiches for everyone. Oh boy, she was pissed, he hoped she would be fair and realise that it was as much Cassie as himself.

She called Cassie to the table and they ate in relative silence.

**0o0o0o **

Cassie washed and dried the plates when they finished, Pete and Sam sat in the living room, Pete flicking through channels.

He had planned on them going out, it was Saturday night after all, but he had a feeling it wasn't going to work out that way… he kept repeating to himself that Cassie had just lost her mother, but he had a feeling that even if she hadn't she would not be any nicer to him!

He mentioned dinner plans as Cassie walked into the room.

"We are going to the SGC" she said, it was the first he had heard!

"I promised Cassie that I would take her to see the Colonel" Sam said

"We promised to pick some things up as well" Cassie reminded her. "We should get going or they will have him sedated, you know what he's like" Sam gave her a small smile, Pete once more felt out of place.

"OK," he said getting to his feet and turning the TV off by remote "Let's go"

"Erm Pete, you aren't allowed on base" Sam told him.

"Sure I am" he said, "Remember the whole … 11 C 9"

"No, that was just so I could tell you some things, not permission for you to visit" Ah, he should have realised.

"So how come Cassie is allowed on base?" he asked

"It's different for her" Sam said, he couldn't see why, just because she knew about the 'gate and everything should not make it any different from him, after all HE knew now!

Cassie left the room and returned with a swipe card, the type he had seen everyone on the base use when he was there. You couldn't even get in the lift without a card, and once in you couldn't go to certain floors without putting your card into a special slot!

He was getting annoyed. Why bother to tell him ANYTHING when it gave him no access, and why should a child be given the run of the base when he couldn't even get in? Didn't they trust him?

Sam put her hand on his arm and he started to calm down. She could do that to him with just a touch, change his mood instantly… he was lucky to have her, and he knew it, he better not do anything to jeopardise it.

"We will only be a couple of hours, she really needs to see Jack… I mean the Colonel" Sam told him. He sat on the sofa and turned the telly back on. She leant over and kissed him. He refused to watch as she left.


	3. Chapter 3

3

She had a horrible feeling that things were not going to be going as well as she hoped. She knew Cassie wasn't happy about Pete, she had made no secret about it, like her mother.

Janet had been such a romantic, even though when on base and in her doctor mode she had asked 'is it a problem' when drunk and sat on her living room floor with a glass of wine she had been totally pushing for Sam and Jack to get together.

Sam knew Janet would keep any secret she told her, in either of her personas, but she also knew that no matter what her personal feelings, it just was not worth the risk, making a pass at her CO.

The man was everything she was not, he was calm, confident, strong, emotionally as well as physically, he was drop dead gorgeous, with eyes she could lose herself in! He even smelt good for cryin' out loud! She snorted slightly when she realised the phrase she had used. But over all Jack O'Neill was a true blue hero, his ideals and strengths had saved Earth time and again, and she knew if anything were to happen between them, he would soon get bored of her, and she would have lost everything. After all, besides being 5'9" and a real blonde, she had nothing to interest a man like him. He interrupted her frequently when she tried to explain things to him, showing up how carried away she became.

She knew it was nothing to do with him not understanding, back when he had asked for yet another explanation of wormholes, before they had a problem with the black hole, she had got a hint that maybe he was not quite as stupid as he made out to be. She had since found out that he not only had a telescope on his roof, he had degrees in cosmology and engineering, and a couple of Masters as well! She had got very VERY annoyed when she found out.

She also knew he deliberately mangled words, he never forgot ANYTHING, and that was nothing to do with the ancient download, his CO during the special ops days had commented that they only had to show him a file once, or say something once, and he could recite it back perfectly years later.

She had no idea why he did it, but no matter what she said, he still did! In fact she had a feeling he did it just to annoy her sometimes, and at others she thought that maybe he was trying to make her feel wanted. He was such a contradiction!

She pulled up outside his house and she and Cassie got out. Evidently the boys had finished because there was no sign of them. They let themselves in and Cassie made her way to the first guest room. Sam followed and noted that the furniture in it was now what used to be in Janets bedroom, evidently if Cassie wanted to stay here at any time, they had made her a room up ready.

She wanted to ask Cassie to go get the things the Colonel had asked for… she had been in his room before, when she was there with his clone, but she felt… odd, going in there, being able to smell him in the room, and after the last time she had spent several nights dreaming of what they could do on that huge bed!

It was no good! She went into the bedroom and into his private bathroom and collected the things he had run out of… she should have bought him some new ones, she knew what brands he used! Then she wouldn't be in here looking around and imagining him in that shower, or in that bath!

She almost ran out of the room, and grabbed Cassie.

"Come on, let's get to the base" she almost shouted, she had to leave!

**0o0o0o **

She followed Cassie into the infirmary and saw her hug Jack, he held the child as tight as he could with his injuries, and Sam knew first hand how good that felt. He raised his head and their eyes met. She got the message and left them to it.

She wandered around, there wasn't much to do, the SG teams were not being sent back out when they came in, the funeral was on Monday and the General had thought everyone wanted to be there, which they did. The camera crew were still around and about, they had expressed a wish to film the memorial service that they were having after the cremation.

She ended up, as always, in her lab, looking at the notes she had made in preparation for her report, her eyes filled with tears once more as she remembered seeing him get hit and falling. And then hearing that Janet had been killed while she was sobbing with relief at finding a pulse!

She lost time as she cried, she could swear she had not been there over 10 minutes when a call came asking her to go to the infirmary, she looked at her watch and it had been well over an hour! She dried her eyes and headed for the ladies, she didn't want to upset Cassie, by showing her that she had been crying.

She entered the room to see them both sat on his bed.

"Any idea how long until you get out?" she asked the Colonel

"Tomorrow, with luck" he answered. He had already been released once, yesterday, but he had not made it out of the corridor before he keeled over, he had 'forgotten' to mention the knock on his head when he landed after being shot, and had been carried back into the doctors less than 3 minutes after leaving.

"You going to be OK for Monday?" she asked, he nodded

"I'll come round to yours, we can all get in the same car, Hammond has arranged everything" she nodded. There would be quite a few at the crematorium, the SG team leaders, the whole of SG1 and General Hammond, Siler and Walter Harriman too. Then everyone but Cassie would return for a memorial in the 'gate room, Cassie had asked to stay up in the briefing room for it, as it was going to be filmed and she didn't want to appear, even by accident.

As there was no telling how long before the 'gate went public Sam couldn't blame her, she did not need the publicity that the film would attract if it was released. She knew it had been hard enough for her as it was, having to explain to her friends why she had access to a top secret facility when her mother worked there, when other families with workers didn't, without having to explain it to the whole world.

"Come on Cass, let's go get something to eat" she said drawing the child under her arm, her CO groaned

"Don't suppose you would smuggle in a steak from O'Malley's for me?" he asked. Sam knew he hated the food that they allowed him in the infirmary.

"Sorry sir, I want you to get out, and you know what happens when you break the rules" Janet always added a day onto his stay for major infractions like smuggling, though usually he was asking for beer not food. But Janet was no longer here, Sam swallowed hard, trying to prevent tears again, he must have seen how close she was because he lay on the bed and waved them away.

Teal'c was outside the door as they left, a chess set under his arm. The colonel may act dumb but he was a master at chess, and at most strategy games, he could wipe Sam off the board with ease. Teal'c had picked the game up early in his days on earth, he too had reached a high level of skill, and he was always willing to help Jack pass the time playing.

"He's all yours, try and stop him winding the nurses up." She told him as she passed him, he nodded his head solemnly and went into the ward.

They went up both sets of elevators and passed through the huge blast door the SF on duty at the first, or last, check point smiled at Cassie in a way that reminded Sam she was growing up… Sam gave him a stern look, knowing if he had done that when any of the men were about he would be stationed at McMurdo before he could sneeze. He straightened and saluted her, even though she wasn't in uniform, she hoped he got the message.


	4. Chapter 4

4

He heard the car pull up, it was about time, she had said a couple of hours, it was almost 4 since they had left. He had been about to order some pizza when they came home.

Cassie came through the door and looked at him spread out across the sofa and turned and left the room again. He would win her round later, for now he thought Sam could do with a little TLC.

However Sam didn't seem to think so, she followed Cassie and it was 30 minutes later that they came out. He suggested pizza but Cassie wanted Chinese so Chinese it was, even though he wasn't keen on their local place.

He hoped the child would go to bed early, he wanted some alone time with Sam, but she seemed determined to spoil his weekend and it was not until after 11pm that she finally yawned and left them alone.

He moved next to Sam and threw his arm over her shoulder, but she shrugged him off and said she was tired, he smiled, he could cope with that! He gave her a few minutes so she could use the bathroom first and headed in. However when he got to the bedroom she had already changed into a set of long flannelette pyjamas and was in bed covered up.

He sighed, used the bathroom and got in beside her, they were just cuddling up when he heard Cassie, she was crying, Sam slipped out of bed to see to her, and did not return for the rest of the night.

Next morning Pete rose to the smell of bacon, Sam had never cooked breakfast before, so he had to think it was all for Cassie, he got to the kitchen as the youngster was finishing and she left as soon as she saw him. He shrugged, what could he do if she wouldn't give him a chance?

"Morning babe" he said, kissing the back of Sams neck, she shivered and he kissed her again, but Cassie walked past the open door and Sam stiffened up. He was getting tired of it. He had to keep reminding himself that she had lost her mother… over and over during the whole of the day before, and it looked like he may have to make it his mantra again.

"What are we doing today?" he asked, he had some ideas, but he knew better than to say what he was thinking.

"I don't know" she sighed "it depends on Cassie" he could have made a book on that answer. "I don't know what to do" she said "Janet was such a great mother to her, I don't know how to help her through this"

"You will do fine" he told her "just do what comes naturally, she's a strong kid" not that he knew anything, but if she had already lived through what Sam had told him the day before she had to be strong. He pulled Sam to her feet and hugged her, she leaned into him, accepting his support.

"Thanks" she said and drew a deep breath, she exited the kitchen… ahh well at least there was some bacon left.

He heard raised voices, but decided he didn't want to know what was happening. The phone rang and he picked it up.

"Sam?" a man asked

"She's with Cassie" he told whoever it was "Shall I get her?"

"Please, tell her it's Daniel" he shouted down the passage and Sam came out and took the phone.

"Yes Daniel?" she said "Yeah… what time? OK, he need anything? No? Sure… no Pete won't be here he has to go back" she said "Right, see you then" she hung up, he looked at her asking what was happening but she didn't look back.

"Cassie!" she shouted "Daniel says that the Colonel has invited us around for steaks this evening" Cassie bounced out of the room, a smile on her face.

"Great, what time?" she asked

"1900" Sam told her "You will be setting off back about then Pete won't you? You usually do, that's why I told them you wouldn't be coming" he noticed the smug look on the teens face. He knew now, he was in serious trouble, she was going to do anything she could to spoil what was between them.

He wasn't stupid, he knew he couldn't push Sam, because if it came to a decision between him and Cassie Sam would chose Cassie, at least until she left to go to college, he would have to be careful.

"Yeah, no worries" he told them both, "in fact I was going to set off just after lunch, I have a case file I have to type up for the morning" he was glad to see Sam looked slightly sad when he told her, but knew he couldn't count on it.

"Look, I can get hold of my Captain if you need company tomorrow" he told her, "I want to be there for you"

"That's very sweet," she said "but the ceremony is only for SGC personnel" ahh well, he had tried.

Cassie monopolised the whole morning and he left directly after lunch, better luck next weekend, he hoped!

**0o0o0o **

Sam was sorry in one way that Pete had to leave, she knew his leaving early had nothing to do with a report, and everything to do with Cassie, but she also knew that Cassie needed her more than she needed Pete.

They spent the afternoon sorting out the small ornaments that Janet collected into a cabinet Sam had in her study, Cassie had bought the first one on her first ever field trip with school, and every time they went out for the day they had bought another. Cassie told her where each one had been bought and what they had done on the day. They spent a lot of time crying again, but this was a happy sort of crying, remembering the good times.

They went around to the Colonels at 1800, to help him get ready, only to find he wasn't even home yet, after calling him they ended up driving into town again and meeting him at the grocers. Sam got a salad while he got the steaks and some mince so Cassie could make a couple of burgers.

The evening went fine, Cassie relaxed with her 3 uncles and Sam was glad to hear her laugh a couple of times as the Colonel made some of his stupid jokes, the type that always cheered her up, no matter how depressed she was.

They got home at 2200, tomorrow would be hard on all of them.

**0o0o0o **

The car pulled up at her door, General Hammond was already inside and SG1 and Cassie joined him. The service at the crem was short. They went to the SGC after and Sam spoke for the whole mountain, occasionally looking up at the crying girl high above watching through the window.

Afterwards everyone stood around while the commissary staff handed out food and drinks and they all spoke of their missing comrade. It wasn't the first time, by a long way, that an SGC member had died offworld, but this person… she had touched everyones lives, and everyone felt her loss deeply. Sam was not sure how she had managed to get through the extraordinary long list without breaking up, but she soon joined Cassie in the room above, her pain was deep, but she knew Cassies was worse.

"Oh!" she said as she walked in, Cassie was enfolded in a hug with the Colonel "I came to sit with her" she said, the Colonel waited until she was close enough to stroke Cassies hair and then he pulled her into his embrace too, both girls started crying as he held them close.

Sam drew strength from his presence, she had no idea how he did that, but the man had the best hugs in the galaxy! She dried her eyes and watched as he kissed Cassie on the forehead.

"Get her out of here" he said gently, Sam nodded and she guided the girl to the lifts and took her home.


	5. Chapter 5

5

He called her Friday morning, just to make sure he was OK to come around. He knew she had been running around the country most of the week, she had called him from LA a couple of times, Cassie had been staying with the Colonel as he was off duty until his injuries healed.

"Hey" he said as she answered the phone.

"Hi Pete" she replied, she sounded… sad, well not surprising really, "What's up?"

"Nothing, just calling to make sure it's OK for me to come around this weekend" he said, she hesitated before answering.

"I…I'm not sure Pete, Cassie hasn't been home because of this whole NID thing, I was going to spend the weekend with her" he knew it, the question was should he push for the visit, hoping she needed him, or back off and leave her with the kid? Jones had been after someone to swap a stakeout with him, he had some birthday thing for his niece to go to. If he swapped then he would have a favour over the other man.

"No sweat babe." He told her "I'll come down next weekend instead, you be there for Cassie, she needs you"

"I don't deserve you" she told him "you are too good" he felt slightly guilty, but hey, who was he to correct Samantha Carter?

"I'll call in the week" he told her and they hung up.

**0o0o0o **

"Hi babe" he said, it was almost a fortnight since they had seen each other and though they had spoken almost every day, for at least 5 minutes a day "Wondering if you were off duty this weekend?"

She paused before answering him "I'm off duty, General Hammond is off to Washington to see the new President on Monday, I promised to help sort the mission files for him, but I can finish them by tomorrow afternoon and have the Saturday and Sunday off"

"Great, hows Cassie?" he asked, hoping she was going to be off with one of her uncles.

"She's fine, settling in well, she's going to the mall with her friends Saturday" she told him… GREAT!

"Fancy that picnic then? You promised to show me around the place"

"I'm not sure Pete, she will only be out for a couple of hours and a picnic will be longer than that, can we wait?" he sighed

"Sure babe" he answered. She was taking the responsibility for Cassie a bit too seriously for him, after all she wasn't a baby or even very young, she was practically an adult!

"Pete… look I'm sorry, but she needs me… she's feeling as if she was the one who caused Janets death just by allowing her to adopt her. Not rational I know but she feels she is cursed."

"Like someone else I know who thinks all her boyfriends die?" he teased

"Touché" she laughed down the line. "Look I really have to go get these files sorted for the General, otherwise I won't be able to get home tomorrow…" she paused as if she was going to say something, but she didn't "see you tomorrow then" she said and hung up.

He looked at the phone in his hand, wondering what she was about to say when she changed her mind.

Ahh well, he got back to reading the report he had gathered from various sources, a lot of policemen were ex forces, and he had used up almost all the favours he was owed to get this information, and the more he read the more worried he became. It looked like he may have some serious competition if the man decided to change his mind.

Looking at the file, filled with rumour and speculation, but enough facts to cause serious contemplation. If ever Jack O'Neill stopped being self effacing and modest, and decided to make a play for Sam, he may just win!

**0o0o0o **

Pete pulled up in front of her house, he had spoken to a couple of female officers this morning and on their advice decided to try something. He had gone to the most exclusive shop they could recommend and had bought a hamper, champagne, strawberries, dipping chocolate, and several other things that came in small expensive packages!

As soon as Cassie was out tomorrow, he intended to set up a romantic picnic, even if it was in the middle of the living room floor!

He rang the bell, realising that at least 3 men had her door key, but he didn't as yet! Cassie answered and she just looked at the basket he had in his hand. She stepped back after a few seconds and walked towards her room.

He went into the kitchen and put the things into the fridge, Sam came in as he was trying to rearrange the food to get the champagne bottle in, maybe he should have bought a smaller one?

"What's all this Pete?" she asked

"I decided we should have a picnic after all" she opened her mouth to protest "ah ahh!" he said "in the living room, once Cassie is at the mall, we can draw the curtains and pretend it's night time" she smiled at him, but then the smile dropped.

"She isn't going… Oh Pete it was a lovely gesture but Cassie has cancelled her day out, and I don't think this lot is suitable for a picnic with a 16 year old along" he could hit something! She had done it again, she had spoiled his plans!

"Pete?" Sam broke through his temper "we can go for the picnic if you want, at the Garden, but Cassie will have to come"

"For Gods sake Sam, she's 16 years old! She can spend one afternoon without you!" Sams face hardened, he got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Pete! She has just lost her mother!" she said in a hard voice

"I know… I didn't mean it" he said, he looked deeply into her eyes, trying to apologise. He kissed her, but she wasn't responding in the way he hoped. Then they both heard Cassies voice.

"Yeah well… looks like Pete doesn't want me here, he's arguing with Sam… I'll be 'round in half an hour… oh OK, see you" Sam rushed out of the room, Pete followed her to the door. Cassie was stood next to the hall phone table, a bag at her feet.

"Cass?" Sam asked her

"Well he hasn't made it a secret has he Sam? Don't worry, I know where I am not wanted" she opened the front door.

Sam grabbed her and pulled her into a hug "Cassie! You aren't going anywhere, this is your home and this is where you will stay, Pete didn't mean what he said"

Pete thought for a second, there was no way she could have packed that bag and phoned someone in the time between his outburst and when they heard her, she had planned this all along, he even bet that she had cancelled the whole trip to the mall just to wind him up! But he also knew he couldn't say anything at the moment, it would look like he was trying to get rid of her by turning Sam against her, and he couldn't win that one.

Cassie was adamant, she was leaving, Sam just as stubborn that she wasn't, they stood on the doorstep arguing in low voices until the sound of a large engine cut the air.

"You didn't… Cass please" Sam sounded almost in pain

"At least I am welcome there anytime, he said so" Pete moved forward so he could see the road… and the driver.

"Carter" said the man, he grabbed Cassies bag and threw it into the back of his truck, "get in" he said to the teen. He had no inflection in his voice, nothing to indicate he was taking one side or the other.

Sam put a hand on his arm and he stiffened up and looked down at it, she removed it as if she was burnt "Sir, please… she got the wrong message, Pete never intended…"

"Don't panic Carter, I'll have her until Sunday, get her to calm down a bit, I'll have a word with her, she has to realise you have your own life too. Don't worry, go have some fun with Pete, you have been looking after her or working none stop since… Go have some fun… remember?" She smiled at him, sadly and nodded.

He got in the truck and drove away with the cause of all the trouble.

**0o0o0o **

Pete wasn't sure now what to do… it sounded like the one on his side was the person he was most afraid could spoil everything! And now he had taken Cassie for the weekend. Should he mention the picnic? He had to admit the one thing he wanted to do involved throwing her onto the bed and having his wicked way with her, or even knowing Sam Carter allowing her to throw him onto the bed!

He walked up to her, she still stood at her gate. Looking after the long gone truck. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. She gave no indication she even knew he was there!

"Sam?" he asked, she jumped slightly

"Sorry Pete, miles away" she said "I hope he can reason with her"

"Look, he will manage, after all he knows about kids and their moods" he closed his eyes, DAMN! He was not supposed to know about Charlie, but she didn't seem to notice his slip

"Yeah… so, he is going to have her until Sunday, I'll pick her up at the Colonels when we meet up on Sunday evening."

"Oh, is this a regular thing then? The Sunday cook out?" he tried to keep the jealousy out of his voice, and thought he had succeeded.

She looked at him strangely, OK maybe he hadn't hidden it as well as he hoped "Sort of, we get together every so often, but with Janet… and him being injured, we have met a bit more than usual, Cassie needs all the men, each helps her in some way that I can't"

He hugged her, and turned her back to the house. "So…" he said "What shall we do with out new found freedom? I think he ordered you to have some fun?"

"Not for the first time" she smiled, but he wasn't sure if the smile was for himself or for the Colonel ordering her to have fun, however she put her arms around him and they went into the house, maybe they would get around to that picnic after all!

He left at 1800 on Sunday, well pleased with the weekend. He and Sam had talked over several things, and he was getting the feeling that if he could get Cassie away for a while he may get to propose and have her say yes. The only trouble was, getting rid of Cassie without Sam knowing he was doing it.

If she thought he was deliberately trying to separate them, she would take Cassies side, which was not exactly fair, Cassie had plenty of other people to go live with, and soon she would be leaving anyway to go to school, and then maybe into the Air Force. Sam had to be willing to act or risk being alone.

He decided that he really should buy that ring he had seen, he would make time in the week to get it, and then he would wait for the right occasion and propose.


	6. Chapter 6

6

The General was still in Washington, which meant that no one was going off on missions. He had persuaded Sam to take a long weekend off and he arrived on Friday morning with another picnic, they went to the Garden of the Gods and spent a wonderful afternoon just lazing about in the cold but sunny climate.

Cassie was due home at 7pm, she had sports practice after school, and they got back to Sams house just before she was due.

She arrived with Dominic in tow, and having seen Petes car she went straight to her room, not even pausing to say hi!

Sam shouted her out again, wanting to know what she wanted for dinner and she decided she wanted lasagne, which Pete hated. He offered to have it delivered, then he could order something else, but no… Cassie wasn't having that, she wanted Sam to cook it, and as it was the dish Sam excelled in cooking she was only too pleased to do it.

She left the house to get the ingredients from the local 24/7 and Pete decided that maybe it was time he and Cassie had words.

He asked her to come into the living room, and when Dominic followed he asked the young man if he minded staying in her room while they spoke. He sat in the chair so she could have a choice where she wanted to be.

"OK, I know you don't like me… to be perfectly honest I aren't THAT keen on you of late… but I have to ask, WHY? Why are you trying to make Sam miserable? Why are you trying to spoil what we have?"

The young girl looked somewhat surprised, he guessed she had thought he would beat around the bush. "I don't think you are right for Sam" she said, he gestured for more information "Sam deserves better than a creep who doesn't trust her, you followed her and almost get her killed! Mom said that the only reason you know about the…" she looked around and decided to play on the safe side "the only reason you know anything is because you almost got the whole of SG1 killed! They are my family and you put them in danger being stupid"

"I never meant to put anyone in danger" he told her reasonably "and it worked out fine, the only one to get hurt was me"

"That isn't the point." She told him "and you ran a background check on Sam, trying to find things out that were none of your business, and I have to wonder who you were going to check up on when you tried to get your FBI buddy to run another check" he blushed, damn if she knew about that too it meant that either his phone was bugged or Daves was, he would have to send him a letter to warn him!

"You also have been pulling contacts from the forces trying to find out about Jack" now how the hell did she know about THAT?

"Wait!" he said holding his hand up "How the hell…"

"I listened in when Uncle Daniel was telling Uncle Jack, you want to think yourself lucky because Sam would know everything if it wasn't for him, it is only Uncle Jack who is stopping everyone spilling the beans!" the question was, how did Daniel know?

"You're just not good enough for her, she shouldn't be with you!"

"Then who should she be with?" he asked her, he knew who she believed Sam should be with, but evidently the man didn't think the same.

"Anyone but you!" he was shocked, had he been so nasty to her that she should attack him like this? He didn't think so, it was probably all to do with this plan of hers to get O'Neill with Sam, didn't she realise that he was too old for her?

"Look Cassie, Sam is old enough to make her own mind up, and she has chosen me" though he had to admit he didn't know what she saw in him "You are just going to have to live with her choice"

"No, really, I don't" she said calmly

"Yes you do, because no matter what you think, YOU are a child, she is the adult, you will do as you are told or you will suffer"

"Suffer?" she said and she laughed

"Sam will only stand so much then she will punish you, you want to be grounded? No allowance?"

"That isn't suffering… you don't know anything, you're pitiful" she sneered at him, he had had enough of her superior attitude and all his plans to make nice and sort things out went out the window.

He stood up looming over her "What the hell?! Look I don't know how things were where you grew up, and frankly I don't care, but when you are here in this house you do as you are told or you won't be seeing your boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter… and don't think you can go ringing Jack whenever you please, because that just upsets Sam and I won't have it!"

He heard something bang and looked up to see a lettuce rolling across the floor from the bag Sam had dropped, her face was bright red.

"I think you should leave Pete" she told him, he closed his eyes, trying to hold onto his temper, he had to explain to her what had happened, how he had been goaded into it, but it was obvious that she wasn't going to listen. He only moved one step forward and she moved back away from his route out. He picked up his keys and left, telling her that he would ring her in the week.

**0o0o0o **

How could he? OK Cassie had not made any great effort to be friends with him, but after all was said and done she had just gone through a traumatic experience and every time Pete came around she felt like a fifth wheel!

He seemed incapable of realising that she HAD to focus on the child, everything else could wait, including them! She would have a chance later, once Cassie was settled, to have her own life, but for now all Sam could see was a child in pain, one who had already gone through so very much, her original family, all her friends, almost dying from the Naquadah bomb in her chest, not to mention Sam/Jolinar terrorising her and then being experimented on by Nirrti!

Most adults Sam knew would not be able to cope half as well as this girl, she had been spot on when she had told her back years before that's he was 'very brave' even Sam had no idea just how brave she really was.

And she had adapted so well! From the type of life she had been used to on Hanka she had adapted quickly so she did not draw attention to herself on Earth, no mean feat when you consider just how curious kids get.

"Cassie" she said

"Sorry Sam, but I really don't like him and I am not allowed to tell you why" Ok she knew that Sam would never be able to drop it now, but no matter how much Sam tried Cassie would not elaborate.

Sam tried to get Dominic to tell her but he refused too, it looked like everyone but her knew something against Pete! She called Daniel but got nowhere, which left the Colonel, she knew better than to even think of trying Teal'c!

"O'Neill" he answered the phone

"Sir, there's been a bit of an argument…" she started

"Be right there, tell her to pack her bag" he said and put the phone down! Sam had no intention of making Cassie go to his house, was she THAT bad at being a parent that he automatically decided to take over? She thought back, several times since Janet had died she had gone to his house, and all but once was because of an argument with Pete or at least Pete had been there!

When he pulled up Sam met him at the gate "Sir, we need to talk" she said, he looked at her and then nodded.

They made their way around the back of the house and sat on the garden chairs. Sam explained about the row she had walked in on, and Cassies reaction afterwards.

"So I have to ask…" she said avoiding looking directly at him as usual "What does she know… or what does she think she knows, that makes her dislike him so?"

"Carter, remember we are talking about a teenager here, what she says won't always make sense" she could tell he knew something, and unlike when he lied to the whole team back when he was tracking down the thieves, she could read him now. He couldn't get away with it.

"Sir, you know something"

"Yes I do, and I will tell you this, just once… I am NOT going to tell you anything" she could scream in frustration! "Honest Sam, there really is very little to tell and Cassie is just yanking your chain, now I'll take Cas this week and you call him up and get him to come back, you aren't on duty until Tuesday so, go have some fun! You deserve it."

She looked at him directly for a moment, but as usual she couldn't hold his gaze, it made her think of things she wasn't allowed to think about. He rose and went into her house and minutes later Cassie came out.

"Sam… I'm sorry for winding Pete up, and you, I… I just" she shrugged, Sam got to her feet and hugged her, she remembered not being very nice to folk back when she lost her mother, temper tantrums were just a part of what her father had to go through. Dominic appeared at the patio doors with Cassies hold all and she heard a shout from the front of the house calling them to hurry up, she kissed Cassie on the cheek and pushed her off towards the impatient man.

"Go on, have fun and make sure he feeds you something other than pizza!" she told her ward.

**0o0o0o **

She wanted to ring him, but every time she picked the phone up and started dialling she remembered him looming over Cassie and laying down the law. He had no right to talk to her like that! No matter what Cassie had said to him he didn't have the authority to threaten her with loss of privileges. In the end she sat doing the crossword puzzle in the paper as a way to calm down. She wished the General was back from DC, she could use a mission to work out the stiffness she felt.

He called at 2200, and didn't sound totally sober when he did. She refused to speak with him while he was drunk and told him to call in the morning. She went to bed and lay there for ages wondering how the hell she was going to fill Janets shoes, the woman had been such a great mother to Cassie, Sam knew she could not be a tenth as good.

**0o0o0o **

She slept in for once the next morning, she was woken by the phone and scrambled to pick it up, not realising the time she thought it must be a problem at the SGC.

"Carter, and Siler, this had better be important, I was asleep!"

"Sam?" she sat up quickly "Sam it's 9am, you are usually up well before this"

"Oh sorry Pete, couldn't sleep until this morning, lots to think about" she told him

"Look, I just want to say I'm sorry for yesterday" he said quickly "I know she was trying to make me lose my temper but I really shouldn't have sounded off at her like that" he said all the right things, and she had already half forgiven him before he asked, "can we forget it and move on?" she smiled to herself.

"Cassie has gone to the Colonels for the weekend" she told him, "want to come back?"

"Look, just an idea, but why don't you come here for a change?" he asked, she considered it and agreed, she packed her bag and was out the door before 1030.

They had a great weekend, they went to the pictures to see a cop movie… it was his turn to pick… and then to a restaurant for dinner followed by dancing. He had booked a hotel room for them, explaining that his place was a mess, she had never seen where he lived but if he wanted to splash out on a hotel, she wouldn't say no!

They stayed up late and checked out late the next day, and she returned to the springs feeling great, only to find when she got home that almost all Cassies personal stuff had gone. She sat and wept at the thought that she had let her down so badly that she had moved out.


	7. Chapter 7

7

She needed someone to talk to, before she would have called Janet, failing her Daniel, but she had a feeling that Daniel wouldn't be very sympathetic over this, she couldn't talk to the Colonel, he wouldn't understand what she was feeling, because he probably couldn't see anything wrong, to him he was as much a parent to Cassie as she was, so it made no difference who looked after her.

She considered Pete, but she doubted he would help, which left her with the one person she could count on not to judge her, and to offer silent support, if nothing more. She got back in the car and headed to the mountain, she needed to see Teal'c.

**0o0o0o **

"Major Carter, if I understand what you have been saying, you feel you have failed in your duty as a parent to Cassandra Fraiser"

"Exactly Teal'c, I was supposed to be the one looking after her, but with Pete around she feels pushed out"

"Do you believe you neglect her for Pete Shanahan?" he asked, she thought about it

"No, I always try to put her first" she told him, "it's just that she feels…I don't know what she thinks but she doesn't like Pete, and I'm afraid she won't come home unless I break up with him."

"Do you believe that it is in your best interest to stop seeing Pete Shanahan?"

"No… no, I enjoy being with him, he helps me relax, and it's nice to have someone 'normal'" she saw his eyebrow raise "I didn't mean that like it sounded" she caught the twitch of his lip that said he was joking and smiled at him.

"Could you offer Cassandra Fraiser more time, or more attention if you stopped seeing this man?" she couldn't really, she made sure that the time Pete and she had together was time when Cassie was otherwise occupied. She started to get what Teal'c was pointing at.

"Thanks Teal'c" she said getting off the floor and stretching her legs

Teal'c lowered his head in his usual regal nod and closed his eyes getting back to his meditation.

She felt a lot better about the whole thing, Teal'c advice… she realised he hadn't given her any advice, he had asked questions and let her draw her own conclusions, she smiled to herself, it was easy to forget just how wise he was sometimes.

**0o0o0o **

She noticed Daniels lab door open as she was walking past and stuck her head inside, he was working away on something in the corner of the room, she walked around the desk, he had picture after picture taped together making a colonnade, filled with writing, and he was translating it using a magnifying glass while bent over.

"Wouldn't it be better to put it on the table?" she asked, making him jump

"Oh? Erm no… no this is better because I can see …" his sentence drifted off and he bent once more to the task, she was used to him being like this when he had a puzzle and decided not to push it. She left and decided she would go see Cassie and the Colonel now she had calmed down.

**0o0o0o **

She pulled up at the side of his truck and she could see the smoke from the grill from the front of the house.

"Carter?" he shouted "The kids with you?" she wondered if either of them had remembered they were supposed to come around, neither had mentioned it, but Teal'c probably would not forget and he would drag Daniel away from his translation

"No Sir!" she shouted back and let herself in through the front door, which he never locked when he was on Earth.

She could hear Cassies music coming from the right of the door and decided not to confront her yet, she went into the kitchen and got herself a soda from the fridge, he kept the diet ones just for her. She went out the back doors and saw he had only just lit the coals, so the boys had time yet to arrive.

"Have a good weekend?" he asked, she decided not to procrastinate.

"Yes until I got home and found Cassie had moved out" she told him, he looked up sharply

"She hasn't moved out" he said "she just picked up her stereo" Sam wondered if he really didn't know, but it was not like him to lie about something like this.

"No sir, she moved all her stuff, except furniture all her things are gone" he threw the tongs he had been messing with onto the table and went inside.

Sam wondered if she had done the right thing, she didn't want to force Cassie to come live with her if she really didn't want to, but she also didn't want the Colonel to argue with her and make her feel unwanted in his home. She decided to follow him and then they could all settle it.

There were no loud voices or anything when she got to Cassies room and she knocked before entering. Cassie was sat on her bed crying, the Colonel looked upset too. Sam immediately went and hugged the girl.

"Hey, look if you want to stay with the Colonel you just have to ask, just please, let us know what you are doing" she told the child "I love you and any time you need me I will be here for you, any time! Please don't shut me out" Cassie cried harder and wiped her tears onto the shoulder of Sams blouse.

The Colonel left the room, Sam wondered if she was wrong telling Cassie she could stay with him, but he was the one who offered first.

Cassie wiped her eyes on her sleeve, but tears kept welling up, "Sam I want to stay here, I didn't want to cause you any pain but I don't feel right when Pete is there, here I don't have that problem" Sam understood, and though her heart ached she thought that maybe it was for the best if Cassie stopped here for the time being.

The doorbell chimed and then Daniels voice came down the hall "How many times Teal'c? He never locks his door and he knows we are coming, just walk in" she heard them walk through the kitchen and outside. Cassie went to the bathroom to wash her face and they went out to join the men.

**0o0o0o **

He hated to say it but he was REALLY glad when she called and told him Cassie had moved in with the Colonel permanently. He knew he should have been a bit more sympathetic, it had hurt her, but it meant he could make the plans that he had been putting off because of the brat.

A part time niece was preferable to a full time pain in the ass, and Cassie was getting to be full time, he was grinding his teeth over her when she wasn't even there!

He once more looked at 'The Ring' he couldn't imagine one more perfect for her, though it was traditional to have a solitaire diamond the ruby surrounded by smaller diamonds was just what he pictured on her finger.

He also put out feelers for a transfer to the CSPD, though he had no intention of moving quite yet. He was careful not to ask questions about anyone, not knowing exactly how the kid had found out about his previous enquiries.

All in all he decided, it was turning into a great year, all he had to do was get her to say yes and then it would be complete.

He arrived at her house on Friday evening as usual and they went out to dinner. He had not felt as happy as he did at that moment since he and his wife had split, actually since just after they got married if he was honest, that had been a huge mistake.

"Penny for them" the beautiful woman in his arms asked

"Not worth a penny" he replied and pulled her tighter against him as they swayed to the music.

He wished she had put more thought into her clothes, the 3 inch heels looked spectacular until they were dancing, at which point she was taller than he was, which was embarrassing.

"Not that I mind babe…" he said delicately "but it's awkward trying to kiss you when you are taller than I am" she gave a small laugh

"No more awkward than when I don't have shoes on" she said, missing the point entirely

"You are supposed to be shorter though" he told her. She didn't answer and he hoped she got the message.

As soon as they got home she slipped the heels off and pressed against him, kissing him deeply "you see?" she said, he had to admit she had a point, but it was different in public, he didn't like the looks he got from taller men when he was dancing with her. If she didn't get the hint and wore the shoes again he would have to be a bit more blunt, and he would check before they left next time.

She went to use the bathroom first, as usual and he sat down and picked up the crossword puzzle that was on the table.

He filled in a few answers and was contemplating another when she called asking if he was coming to bed. He dropped the paper immediately and went to use the facilities.


	8. Chapter 8

8

He wasn't very…adventurous… in bed she had noticed. They were getting into a set routine, she would use the bathroom, then he would, then they would make love, usually the missionary position, he wasn't keen on her being on top, though he didn't mind her on her knees. Though he loved to be sucked, it was very rare he offered to return the favour, unless she asked outright, which of course she didn't.

She had wanted normal hadn't she? And he was tender and gentle, but she was finding it harder and harder to get excited at the thought of making love with him. In fact most times when she shuddered in anticipation it was because she was actually fantasising about a certain someone else, or about doing something he would consider kinky.

She had often hoped, during the early days, that he would join her in the shower, or push her up against the wall as they entered the house. She had learnt that even his forays into unorthodox, such as making love in the living room on the floor, usually were precluded by a shower and usual ablutions, not a spontaneous bone in his body it seemed!

However he was very good at making her feel good. Though not spectacular in the sack, the way he held her, or even looked at her made her feel like she was special, worshipped even, though not in a creepy way.

She felt… beautiful, when he looked at her, and that was worth a lot. Especially when she had scars on her body from fighting, calluses on her hands from the weapons and she had muscles that most women would think too masculine. Still when he looked at her she felt she could not be better, and really what more could a person want?

Of course as soon as she thought that images pounded her brain, hot sex in the shower, in the lab, in the briefing room! And each time her partner was not the man she was in bed with, but someone else, someone who, rather than look at her as if she was perfect, pushed her into being better than she was, pushed for more, and when she gave more, asked for even more after that!

She rolled over and drifted away from him until she was in a cool place in the sheets, she knew he was very rarely up for more than one bout a night, so she tried not to wake him as she willed her body to cool down.

**0o0o0o **

"Pete" she shouted "Did you touch my crossword?" she looked at the paper offended by the incorrect answer.

"I did a couple of clues while you were getting ready for bed" he shouted back and she screwed the puzzle up and threw it away. "Why what's wrong?" he asked, poking his head into the living room in time to see her throw it. "S'up?" he asked

"Nothing" she huffed

"So why you throw it out, there was plenty to go at" he retrieved the offending paper and smoothed it out.

"Leave it" she snapped, he continued to smooth the paper out so it was legible.

"Knock Knock!" came a cry from the hall and Sam jumped up

"Sam I was talking to you" Pete said, he was getting annoyed but she really didn't want to start a row over something as silly as a crossword puzzle so she rushed to see why Cassie had arrived so early.

She found not only Cass, but her CO in the hallway "Hi" she said and Cassie grabbed hold of her and dragged her into her old room, leaving the Colonel to make his way wherever he wanted to go.

"Dominic and his parents have asked me to go on holiday with them for 2 weeks…they got one of them late deals off the internet! Uncle Jack says I can go if you agree, but that it is up to you." Sam wondered why he made it her decision, he was looking after her after all. However if that was the way it was going, at least she would get some say in the childs upbringing, as soon as she thought that she realised that was exactly WHY he had made her part of the decision, so she wouldn't feel left out. She felt grateful that he was thinking of her feelings over this.

"I want to see his parents, and we can talk about it" she told the child

"You have met them before" she pointed out, which was true, Janet had had a garden party and the whole of SG1 had met them.

"This is different Cassie, I want to know where you are going, what you will be doing and to make sure you are properly looked after"

"So is that a yes?" she squealed, Sam had to smile

"If… and I mean IF they can tell me what I want to know… it's a yes!"

Cassie jumped up and down, like a kid with a new bike at Christmas, eager to be off straight away. "Hey! Hold on, how about we get the Colonel some coffee?" she said "and then he can drive you round to Dominic's house"

Cassie ran out of her room and into the kitchen to put the coffee on, Sam wondered if she would realise the pot was still half full before she filled the filter, she was acting so giddy. She smiled and went into the living room where her CO and boyfriend were sat talking

"Ohhh no… you don't understand …Carnal Sin!" the Colonel said

"Ahh, didn't think it was that important" he said as she went to sit on the sofa next to him, she noticed the defiled crossword still on the table and frowned at it, she screwed it up again and threw it into the bin once more, she caught the look between the two men and asked

"What?"

"Nothing" came the reply from both of them together.

"WHAT?" she almost shouted.

"I was just telling Paul here…"

"Pete" Pete corrected him, she didn't bother she knew he did it on purpose

"Pete… that he shouldn't touch your crosswords"

"I aren't that bad!" she said defensively

"Oh really, you are" her CO said

"Just because you never completed one in your life" she said, only half in jest

"Tell you what, pizzas next team night on me completing the crossword in todays paper" he challenged.

"You're on!" she said

"Uncle Jack, why do you make bets you know you will lose?" Cassie asked from the doorway and she received the huge grin that Sam had always counted as her own from him, Sam knew it was ridiculous to be jealous of the child, but that grin was the one he always gave her when she did something other people told her could not be done!

"So… I take it you agreed?" he asked her changing the subject.

"On certain conditions, I want to meet his parents and get some details" she replied, he nodded

"I told her that was what you would say… OK munchkin lets get you to your boyfriend" he said unfolding himself from the chair

"Oh, I made you a coffee" Cassie told him, holding out the cup, he looked at her and Sam caught it, she knew he was telling her they were leaving so she and Pete could be alone, she didn't want them to rush off, she had all weekend to be with Pete but she didn't see enough of Cassie nowadays and hoped they would stay a while.

"Please sir, have your coffee" she said he gave her a long look, well all of 3 seconds and then continued on his way.

"No time Carter, sorry" and they were gone! She felt sort of empty, as if them leaving had taken all the joy out of the room.

"What was all that about?" Pete asked, Sam filled him in on the invitation.

"Why ask you though? I thought he was looking after her, she's nothing to do with you now, is she?" she didn't even bother to try and answer that one.


	9. Chapter 9

9

The Colonel had cooked steaks on Sunday afternoon, as Dominics parents were invited, Sam had arrived as ordered by Cassie half an hour after Pete had left to go back to Denver, Cass had some literature for the resort they were going to and the poor people were grilled the whole time by the full team.

However they took it in good part, even Teal'c had to agree in the end that they may be suitable to be responsible for Cassie for a fortnight. All Sams questions and fears were answered, they were going to LA, and Cassie had to promise over and over that she would do as she was told. All in all it wasn't a bad night.

She had looked over the Colonels pathetic attempts at the Saturday crossword when she arrived, she actually didn't notice a single one right! And he acted all offended when she told him so!

He made a bet for double or nothing for the weekend after and she told him he could have an extra day, she had planned to see Pete in Denver that weekend so wouldn't be at the team night to collect her winnings.

Cassie was flying out on Thursday evening with the Millers, Sam insisted on taking her to the airport and it ended up a full team trip! On the way home her CO told her not to bother going into work the next day, to have some time off, so she decided to go to Denver early and surprise Pete.

He had once again booked a hotel for them, she was starting to wonder if she would ever see where he lived, and was getting curious as to why he wouldn't let her know the address. But she decided to trust him, if he wanted her to know, he would tell her!

She went into the city centre and bought herself some treats from Victoria Secret, as she was leaving the shopping centre she noticed an 'adult' shop, she wondered what Pete would say if she went in and bought a few toys… but then decided not to bother, she didn't want to risk offending him, and men were notoriously sensitive if they thought you weren't satisfied with their performance.

She sighed, the romance was great, the companionship better, it was just that one small part of it that was … lacking, and it wasn't such a big deal was it? She had gone years without in the past… she thought of the scraps of lace and satin in her bag and hoped maybe they would inspire something a bit more, just this once.

**0o0o0o **

Saturday morning Daniel called her early, he had finished the translations he had been working on and had found something important! She packed up and returned to Colorado Springs as soon as she could, not even going home she headed straight for the mountain, she thought she saw someone following her but by the time she reached the base gates there was no one there. She descended though both sets of lifts to find Daniel waiting by the lift shaft. It was unusual to say the least. He also had blue BDUs on, which she knew he must have been wearing at least a day, probably more.

"Seen Jack?" he asked as soon as she came out

"Not since Thursday" she answered, it couldn't be urgent or he would have called him. "I'm going to get ready" she said, and headed to the locker to get her green BDUs on, she hated the greens but she knew they were the next set up, and as the call from Daniel had not specified a desert world she knew that it would be green.

She changed and Daniel was still by the lift when she returned! Teal'c joined them waiting and eventually the door opened. She noticed he was already in his BDUs.

Daniel challenged him about his tardiness, and she was amazed to realise while they were waiting for a go ahead on a mission he had been doing the crossword! Not only that but he had got it all wrong again!

He had even tried a trick she had not seen since Tommy Jones in 6th grade, when he had tried to fit an 8 letter word into 5 spaces! She knew he had to be doing it deliberately, but he acted so offended when she called him on it.

He confused her!

Later that day he more than confused her, when he and Daniel were talking about the repository she had had the wild idea that she should try to absorb it, but he had stepped up before she could and suddenly it was too late, he was half unconscious, able to stagger along if helped but not really 'there' and she was going to have to live through watching him slip away from her again!

Thank God Cassie wasn't there, by the time she returned, hopefully, Thor would have arrived and helped him recover, and if they were really lucky Anubis would be dead.

**0o0o0o **

He asked for the weekend to get things in order, and she managed to convince the General that he would not be in any danger leaving, though she was annoyed to hell that he kept making jokes about his impending death.

She called Pete and cancelled the rest of the weekend, she had told him when she left that she probably wouldn't be back but he had insisted that she could wrap it up and return. She really couldn't cope with him as well as what was happening to her CO, and on Sunday afternoon she found herself sat in her car outside his house, wondering what the hell she was going to say to him. She noticed a car down the street, the driver sat doing nothing, just as she was… maybe she wasn't the only pathetic person in the world? Though actually, that looked rather like the car she thought was following her the day before.

She eventually got up the courage to get out and knock. He answered the door and she looked at him, properly, he looked tired, and older somehow. As if part of the vital energy that he always had was drained away. She wanted to hold him, comfort him, but she knew she had no right.

She waffled away when he asked what she was doing. How could he reduce her to a bumbling idiot just by asking a simple question? She tried to tell him all the things she had held back for so long, but she was just about to get somewhere, they were talking properly at last when Daniel and Teal'c turned up! She could have cried in frustration.

The afternoon cheered up once Daniel got drunk and tried to persuade everyone how deep Teal'c was, then the General turned up to tell them he was leaving!

She couldn't have been more shocked, especially as the new commander was a civilian, and what the hell was going to happen to the Colonel with this happening? He only had days!

**0o0o0o **

She spent her time watching him, trying to gauge the changes, last time he had started doing some things that did not make sense before the download began affecting his brain.

He didn't start making anything, or even filling a blackboard with complex base 8 maths. In fact she didn't notice any changes and he was getting annoyed with her watching him.

"Carter stop it!" he snapped "When I change I'm sure there will be notice."

They were saved by Bra'tac arriving and they made their way into the briefing room. He burst out during the conversation with an ancient word, it had started!

He managed to persuade Dr Weir to allow a mission if he came up with somewhere to go, much to Kinseys disgust.


	10. Chapter 10

10

She and Daniel took turns in baby sitting the Colonel, he kept giving hints that he was changing, the odd word or look, but still no overt sign until Daniel looked at his crossword puzzle and determined that he had unconsciously written the answer in.

While they were talking to Dr. Weir, he gathered together loads of things including a Naquadah generator, welding kit, and various electronic components and they travelled to the planet with the cargo ship they were going to use.

Pete had tried to contact her several times before they left, but she had no time to waste explaining to him what was happening, after all it was not only the Colonel who had a time limit, Earth did too, Anubis was on his way after all!

They were sat in the ship, she wanted to talk to him, wanted to tell him what she felt, but it wouldn't be fair to him, he had enough on his mind (literally) without her adding pressure.

He rose suddenly stating that they needed more speed and she was amazed when she followed him to see him rerouting the power to the engines with no hesitation.

The new configuration was amazing, and she just hoped she would remember it all when they next got hold of a ship!

She looked at him, across the crystal bank. "Sir, I think you should know that General Hammond authorised me to take command of the team if I deter…"

"Do it now" he interrupted her

"Sir… I don't think that's necessary"

"I trust you… I'll make it easy for you, I resign, you're in charge" he once more bent to the control panel

"Sir, at your house, just before Daniel and Teal'c showed up… what I was going to say was…" he looked up at her, straight into her eyes. She saw then that he knew, he knew everything she was feeling, and as if she could read his soul she knew he actually felt the same way!

Still the regs… but he had resigned hadn't he? She felt that if she could just lean over and kiss him…

"I know" he said softly and so tenderly.

Thoughts of Pete stopped her from doing what she wanted. No it wasn't right, but as soon as she got home she would finish it with him. And then she would be free to explore the connection she felt with her CO. She was tired of allowing the AF to dictate who she could and could not love.

This man, who had sacrificed everything not once, but over and over, who had died more than once for the people of a planet that seemed not to care, he was slowly losing himself in his own mind. She would do ANYTHING to help him! And once he was back to normal, then she would go to him and explain again how she felt.

She was sure once he got better that he would pretend not to remember the conversation they just had, or the fact that he understood it.

He brushed past her on the way to the forward hold, and she allowed her hands to brush down his arm as he did so, he turned on the threshold of the room and held out a hand to her, she took it and he gently pulled her after him, until they got to the bridge, where he dropped the connection. It was enough.

Later after he collapsed in the chair, as she looked on, she thought her heart would break, she had just decided to risk everything to be with him, and she was going to lose him before they had a chance. The hardest thing she ever had to do in her life was walk away and leave him, frozen in the Domata, and she doubted she would have been able to do it if not for Teal'c and Daniel supporting her.

**0o0o0o **

So, Jack had single handedly defeated Anubis, but at a terrible price, he ended up frozen, in stasis, asleep, whatever… he was almost totally overcome by the download, and still there was no sign from Thor or anyone else who may be able to help.

A research team was dispatched to the outpost, there were several inert machines in the place that could be studied, but it was not until a young Scottish doctor, who specialised in cryogenic theory and genetics arrived that a major breakthrough was discovered. The team had been trying to get a console to work and then the doctor turned up and placed his bag on the seemingly dead surface and it sprang to life! A study of his DNA and the Colonels showed a single marker in common, no one else on the team had it.

A scan of personnel at McMurdo showed one more person with the same gene and when he was brought to the outpost he too could use the chair and consoles. It was proved. The reason the Colonel had been able to use the repository and chair etc was because he had an 'ancient gene' and the machines left behind were safeguarded against people misusing them by not allowing anyone who was not an 'ancient' to access the controls.

Sam was sure that on some level the Colonel had known this, which is why he would not allow anyone else to try the download, a further test using Private Gascoigne showed that the first repository, that they believed was out of power, was no such thing, it activated as soon as the Private stepped across the circle of writing on the floor, but no one wanted to risk the young man by having him download as well.

**0o0o0o **

She returned to the SGC, wondering what the hell she was going to tell Cassie. It was not easy, and she hoped to God they would hear from the Asgard in the next 2 days, then everything would be back to normal, or as normal as it could get.

Of course it didn't work out, there was no sign of the allies rushing to help and Jack was stuck in that damn machine. Sam went to pick her up at the airport, she was talking nineteen to the dozen all the way back to Sams house, where at last she realised something was wrong.

"Sam? Aren't I staying with Jack still?" she asked, Sam turned off the car engine.

"Let's get inside Cass, then we need to talk"

"Oh God! He's dead!" she almost shouted, Sam rushed around the vehicle to hold her

"No! No Cass, he isn't dead… please, let's not do this on the street" Cassie looked around, old Mrs. Rainer was there as usual, pretending the net curtains she almost hid behind made her invisible.

Cassie nodded and they went up the path and into the house. She dropped her bags in the hall, and headed straight for the living room.

"Cassie, Jack is… he…oh God how do I explain?" she asked into thin air

"Just say it, then if I don't understand anything I will ask" the girl said

"OK… you have heard of Anubis" Cassie nodded "well last week we got notice he was on his way here with a fleet" she saw the shock on the childs face, after all she had watched one planet get wiped out by a Goa'uld, she knew how dangerous they were, she raised and lowered her hands to show there was no need to panic.

"We had a clue about something that may help us, Jack… he…" she blew out an exasperated breath "do you know anything about the Asgard?" she asked

"Yeah both mom and Uncle Jack spoke of them, it was them that wiped the download from Uncle Jack all those years ago." Sam sighed in relief, though she should not have known, the fact that she did would make this easier.

"Well he got another download, and he managed to wipe Anubis and his fleet out, but this time we don't have the Asgard so he put himself into what we think is a very deep sleep, to stop the download completely overwriting his brain and killing him.

"So where is he? Can I see him?" she asked

"Sorry love, he is in Antarctica, we daren't move him, just in case we do something wrong. We don't want to kill him" she explained. Cassie nodded, and Sam hoped she understood as much as she looked like she did.

"So," she said "how long before Thor or someone turns up and revives him?" she asked, Sam lowered her head, she had no idea, no one did. Cassie got the message and tears streamed down her face.

"Look, you will be here for a while" she told the youngster "You have been accepted into the academy and will be starting soon, but hopefully we will have him back by then, I am hoping that Dr Weir will be willing to allow us to go looking for the Asgard."

"And if she won't?" Cassie voiced the one fear that had kept Sam from asking to date.

"Then… well I will have to use what the Colonel says is my natural talent, I'll threaten to refuse to work on the ship unless I can borrow it" Cassie smiled at her and rose from her seat.

"I guess I better get unpacked" she said "I've loads of washing, and I know how much you love washing Sam"

Sam threw a cushion at her retreating back, she hated anything to do with laundry. The phone rang and she looked at the caller display… Pete again, she sighed, she had put it off long enough, and now Cassie was back she didn't want him coming around.

"Hi Pete" she said as she picked up.

"Babe!" she never realised before how much she hated that word… he always used it and it put her teeth on edge. "Been trying to get you for ages" he said

"Yeah, I know, I've been busy" she told him.

"So… this weekend OK?" he asked. She thought about it, much as it would be easier to finish things over the phone she didn't think it was exactly fair, so she decided to face him.

"Look Pete, what are you doing this evening?" she asked

"Nothing much, was going to watch the game I taped from yesterday, was on a stake out and missed it"

"Can I come over?" she asked, it was only 1800, she had plenty of time to get there and back.

"Erm, well…"

"We can meet in a bar if you want, there's just something we need to talk about" she told him

"Is anything wrong?" he asked her

"Pete… please…" she said and heard him sigh.

"OK, meet at America's Bar & Grill, on East Iliff Ave, in 90 minutes?" he said, she agreed and put the phone down. She immediately dialled Daniel and asked him to come look after Cassie for the evening as she had something to do that would not wait.

He arrived in less than 10 minutes and she set off to Denver.

**0o0o0o **

She arrived first and ordered herself a beer, knowing that by the time they had talked she would be clear to drive. She sat and watched as people came and went from the popular meeting place. The meals looked good too, but she was sure she would not be able to eat anything, she wanted this over with… she wished he would hurry up!


	11. Chapter 11

11

He didn't know where she had been, but the man he had hired who was following her had seen O'Neill, Jackson and herself go onto the base and not come off. This afternoon she had been spotted, Jackson too, but so far no sign of O'Neill, he hoped that meant that the man was not coming back, hopefully Cassie would go live with Jackson, and Sam would be his exclusively.

He routed the ring out of the bottom of the drawer and left the apartment quietly, the last thing he wanted was to explain where he was going, he had promised he was home for the night and setting off out again would not go down well.

He made it to the America's Bar & Grill a couple of minutes late, his 'friend' was outside parked up and he got the latest, Jackson had gone around to her house before she set off, so he guessed Cassie had moved back in, well it wouldn't take long to persuade her to move out again, at least it looked like the Colonel was out of the picture, Sam wouldn't move her if he was coming back any time soon.

He looked through the window; he could see her sat in the corner, watching folk. He placed the folder he had received with the latest photos in down the back of his jumper, resting inside his waistband and he went inside.

He sat on the opposite side of the table and ordered a beer, she wanted a diet coke, they waited until the drinks arrived and then he started talking.

"I've missed you babe" he said, grabbing her hand "You have no idea how much… and I've been thinking, about us… I'm going to ask for a transfer to Colorado Springs PD, so we can be closer"

"Pete" she stopped him, raising her hand and pulling the other one free "Look, I'm sorry, but… there was an…accident at work, Colonel O'N… the Colonel was hurt, Cassie has moved back in with me and, look it's only fair I tell you to your face, I want to break up"

He heard her, well he heard the noise, but somehow his brain refused to process what she said… he carried on as if she had not spoken.

"I was thinking of getting a bigger house too, if we are going to start a family we will need space" he fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the ring box, Sam looked at it, in his hand as if it was a nuclear bomb. "I know this isn't the best place or time…" he said

"Pete! NO! Didn't you hear me? I want to break up, I don't want to see you again!" she said sharply

"This ring is perfect for you, just let me try it on you, you'll see" he told her, he knew if she wore it, even for a second, then she would stop all this nonsense and say yes. But she pulled her hands away and gripped them together under the table. He frowned, what was she playing at?

"Sam, look just put it on, it's perfect, we don't have to plan the wedding straight away, but if we want to get married before we have kids we should really start arranging things"

"Pete, we are not getting married and I am not going to have your children" she told him. Of course he knew better, maybe he had forgotten to mention it? He better tell her now before she did something they would both regret.

"Sam you could be pregnant already" he told her, he was amused to see her shake her head "yes you could, the last few times we made love… the condoms were… well I made sure they were not as safe as they should be… I want us to have kids as soon as possible" he told her. Hopefully she was already pregnant, but if not, they could keep trying.

"Pete, the condoms weren't for contraception" she told him, he didn't understand "I am on birth control, implants, the condoms were just to make sure we didn't pass anything on, I am not pregnant and can't get pregnant by accident" she told him.

How dare she hide something like that? All his efforts, bursting the condoms and trying to make it look like an accident, looking for ages trying to locate her pills and when he had not found any making plans!

Well, he knew now, he could always get her to remove the implant, so the babies wouldn't arrive within a year, he could wait a while longer. He made a grab for her hand again, trying to put the ring on her finger, she stood up, making sure he could not get it. He didn't want a scene so he allowed her to leave, he could catch up with her this weekend, when he went down to stay.

**0o0o0o **

She was shaking as she left the pub, she was not sure exactly what had happened, it was as if everything she said had no impact on him, he ignored everything. She just had to hope that he got the message, because she was not going to allow him into the house again and she was going to make sure he couldn't call too.

She got hold of the phone company and barred calls from his phone to both her land line and cell, she also called the SGC/ NORAD switchboard and had his permission revoked, because she had a feeling that if he didn't get hold of her at home he would try at work.

She wished General Hammond was still in charge, she could have explained her problem to him and asked for help, but she didn't know this new woman, and though the scuttlebutt was that she had faced down Kinsey and even kicked him off the base, she didn't know her well enough to go to her with something this personal. So she settled for writing a report, she could explain the breakup and her worries about his mental state and leave the lawyers and doctors to decide if he was a risk to the secrecy of the programme.

WHY HER? Every man who loved her either went mad or died, or in Jonas' case, both! What was it about her that caused it? She should just give up on love and accept that she would grow old alone, at least she could look forward to 'grandkids' when Cassie got a bit older, though maybe the young woman would leave and not look back once she was in the AF full time.

She made her way home and thanked Daniel for looking after Cassie, she made her way to bed, the child was already asleep, and she curled up into a ball, hugging the pillow she had stolen from her COs room when she had collected Cassies things. Maybe there was one man who could love her without dying or going mad, or maybe he had done both and survived, so was immune now? She breathed in his scent, and hoped it would not fade before they got him back.


	12. Chapter 12

12

She was worried, she had seen her CO many times directly defy authority, but this was the first time she had ever done it herself. The blackmail… such a dirty word but accurate… worked and she was at last on her way to the Othala galaxy with Teal'c. It had been a couple of months since he had put himself into stasis, over 8 weeks since she had last looked into his eyes and seen more than a blank stare, more since he had smiled at her, the scent on his pillow had long since faded. Cassie had started the Academy, and was living there, even though home was less than 3 miles away. Sam was alone, and for the first time in a long time, lonely.

Unfortunately her attempts at talking with Teal'c led him to bring up Pete, so she changed the subject. She was not deliberately hiding the fact that they had split… OK yes she was, but she knew if someone at the SGC had found out the rumour mill would have gone wild over her rescue attempt, this way it looked as if she was doing it because of who he was, not because of what he meant to her!

**0o0o0o **

She heard shouting, it was over, she had survived Fifth had left and dropped her off on the new Asgard homeworld, or at least she hoped it wasn't another mind trick from Fifth, she could have sworn she could hear Jack shouting… she shuddered and coiled herself into a ball. She knew that it was impossible.

"CARTER!" the shout sounded out again.

"SAM!"

"MAJOR CARTER!" Teal'c, the only one who should be there, she could almost trust his presence.

"CARTER!" she tried to raise her head, the throbbing in her forehead made her give up the attempt.

"OVER HERE" Teal'c rushed over and helped her raise her head from the forest floor.

"You OK?" it was real, he was here! Looking just as handsome as ever!

"Glad to see you sir" she said smiling at him, he grinned back

"Likewise" the other two men backed off slightly, she hoped they were not offended, she hadn't meant to ignore them, but Jack! He was here and well! She hoped she was not going to wake again and find herself with Fifth… didn't he mention that the Colonel had found a means to kill replicators? She couldn't remember much and when she tried her forehead ached in remembrance.

Jack took an Asgard communicator stone out of his pocket "Thor, you can beam us up" he said, and a white light enveloped them.

Sam was laid out when she arrived, in a medical pod, she believed, the Asgard must have detected something wrong that made Thor place her in it, she could see the other 3 members of SG1 through the Perspex type cover. Daniel and Teal'c were talking with the small grey alien; Jack was stood directly over her, a hand on the cover while he listened.

"There is a slight anomaly in Major Carters body" for a split second she remembered Pete and his sabotaged condoms, but Thor soon clarified "Her body is dehydrated and in dire need of liquid" she supposed the 'food' and 'drink' fifth had given her were all illusions, and of course he did not need such things himself. It was unlikely he would have the supplies they stole from SG1 on Hala on board, they would have spoiled by now anyway. She wondered how long she had been a captive, it only seemed like a couple of days, maybe it was more, after all Thor must have gone to Earth and back, Daniel and Jack were here!

"Carter… you hear me?" Jack asked she tried to nod but was not sure she managed when he didn't react.

"How long will Major Carter require attention?" Teal'c asked

"Several hours" Thor replied, "where we can cure most disease and injury quickly, simple things like dehydration and starvation take time to correct in order that the body does not react adversely" she could understand that, having been very very thirsty in the past she knew the last thing you need to do is drink a lot at once, you would only make yourself sick.

"There are quarters ready for you if you wish" Thor stated, no one moved, Jack shook himself slightly and told the other two to go sleep.

"I've caught up on 50 years worth of sleep in the last couple of months" he said "You two go on… I'll keep an eye on Carter" Daniel grinned slightly, and Teal'c of course just bowed his head. She wondered if Jack caught their looks.

He drew up a chair that Thor produced and sat beside her "So, Carter, you came to my rescue again eh? You are making a habit of it; I have to wonder why you know." He paused and looked around "I also have to wonder why you are seeing that idiot of a cop, but that's just between us two" he whispered.

Now she knew he thought she was asleep, Jack O'Neill would never say anything like that to her if she was awake!

"I'm glad though that you are happy, I know I could never have made you feel like he seems to. Though God knows what… never mind. All I want is for you to be happy, it's all I've wanted for a long time, though for a while there I thought we could be happy together, you are right though, I was never good enough for you, too old, and jaded, whereas you are young, and bright and…beautiful, kind, compassionate, loveable, and downright HOT!" he sighed and looked around once more she wasn't sure who he was looking for.

"I never told you this, but back when we were stuck in that time loop, I resigned and kissed you, you kissed me back" a huge smile lit his face, not a grin, an honest to god smile and he looked so adorable, she wished she could move, she would grab him! "and just the memory of that one kiss has kept me going for all these years." That was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her, and he thought she was asleep!

"I think I'm going to retire when we get home, not sure I can be around you watching you marry that…dork, and I especially don't want to be around if you find out about his stalking you and running background checks on us all… wonder if he has worked out that the PI he hired to follow you is an old friend of mine from back in Special Ops? We could have been making out in the middle of the city centre and he wouldn't have heard about it! Damn idiot!" a noise sounded from the direction the others had gone, he changed the subject and spoke a little louder.

"How's Cassie? She should have started at the academy now, hope she is enjoying it, she was upset about Pete you know…I know she wound him up deliberately, but she was trying to look after you, you know, Daniel had let slip some things that she overheard, she's a clever kid and realised early on that Shanahan didn't trust you, but I'm sure you will work it out. I tried to persuade her to come back and live with you, but she said she couldn't keep her mouth shut so I had to let her stay" his eyes filled with unshed tears and he looked at the ceiling in an effort to hold them back "Janet would have been proud of her… she had the same temper and same romantic soul, it amazes me that she was adopted, they are…were so alike"

He lapsed into silence, one hand smoothing over the cover over and over. He leant against the pod and rested his head on the arm, looking straight down at her as she watched him silently, "I love you" he whispered, and fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

13

Thor beamed Jack away when he found him asleep leant against the pod. It was over an hour later that Thor beamed back into the room.

"Major Carter, I know you are conscious of your surroundings, I hope O'Neill forgives me the deception in not telling him" she had wondered whether Thor knew, now she wondered why he had not told his 'buddy' "You are thinking that I should have told O'Neill, however I believe, in fact the Asgard high council believe, that O'Neill's love for you should be expressed. We have watched and waited ever since we realised the potential in him, for him to 'make a move' to no avail. Hopefully our small deception will enable you to take the first step." For such an advance race, the Asgard were thick! She was glad she had already decided to bring things into the open, because their meddling was more likely to make her dig her heels in than to do what they wanted.

He opened the pod, she tried to rise but fell back, she felt so weak! She gathered her strength, feeling it return more each second.

"Major Carter, I would have you see this" a hologram appeared, it showed a man, laid on a bed, it was Jack! He was covered in a single silver sheet and appeared to be naked beneath it, he was muttering and moving in his dreams, the sheet slipping lower and lower, suddenly he sat straight upright and screamed

"SAM!" he wiped his face with his hands, sweat was pouring off him, evidently he had been having a really bad dream, and it involved her. She had hoped for a second there that it was a different type of dream he was having, especially as he had no clothes on, and she was getting aroused just thinking of him!

"O'Neill has been asleep for 1 of your hours and has woken twice in this manner" the small being told her. She had no idea what he wanted from her though… should she offer to go comfort him? Should she stay away? Was Thor asking for an explanation of nightmares? The figure in the projection slumped back down and pulled the sheet to his chest again.

"God Sam!" he exclaimed putting both hands to his face.

"I should go to him" she said.

"That was 20 of your minutes ago, O'Neill is asleep once more" he told her "however his heart rate and other indicators show he is about to enter into the dream state again" she tried to stand and felt herself go dizzy. "I will transport you" Thor told her, she was glad, she wasn't sure she could make it on her own.

Jack was starting to murmur when she was transported, she was laid next to him on the bed and she swore out loud when she realised she was naked! Thor was determined to have his way… or to let the Colonel have his… or… still she grabbed the sheet and pulled it to cover herself, forgetting for the moment that Jack was naked under it.

She wasn't sure if it was the movement of the bed, of her or the sheet disappearing but he was awake and very alert, looking at her. She had seen that look before, and strangely she had been wearing a silver sheet and nothing else then too!

"Carter?" he said, and he realised he was uncovered and rolled towards her grabbing the bottom part of the sheet.

"Erm… Thor… he… I… you…" she had no idea how to even start to explain, never mind how to finish a sentence! He tilted his head, amused, a smirk on his face. She blushed… damn she hated the fact that this man could make her blush just by grinning at her, Pete never could!

"Whatcha doin?" he asked softly running a finger down the side of her neck and across her shoulder lightly, she trembled in reaction, wanting him to do it again, her head automatically tilted to give him better access to her neck.

"I… Thor beamed me in, you were having nightmares, he thought I could help" he stroked her again, if he kept that up it wouldn't be long before he would be able to smell her arousal, every inch he moved over her skin made her that much wetter. "I had clothes on you know before he beamed me" the hand stopped, she wondered if he was thinking that the removal had been against her will, which it had, but she wasn't upset about it now, he was doing such wonderful things, and with only one finger! "Saves time I suppose, them disappearing like that" she said, he smiled softly and the finger resumed its journey.

She purred deep in her throat as he followed her collarbone to the dip under her chin and then headed for the sheet, oh God, she hoped he wouldn't stop when he reached it… but he did, he raised the hand and brought it to her neck once more. She closed her eyes, waiting for it to move, but instead she felt his lips, he leaned over pressing her into the bed, his lips travelled down her neck to the hollow in her collarbone and then back up to her mouth, he kissed her and she opened her lips to him, sweeping her tongue into his mouth, God he felt good, and he tasted better!

His hand travelled down her arm and snagged the sheet when it reached it, continuing to move lower, uncovering her to his sight.

"GOD! You are so beautiful!" he gasped, she did not know how to react, after all she was far from perfect, her body scarred in places and she had never thought of herself as particularly desirable, the evidence of his arousal was firm and insistent though, pressed against her thigh.

He totally uncovered her, she had a fleeting thought about the Asgard being able to watch, but decided it didn't matter, all that mattered was they were there, together. His hand travelled to the juncture of her thighs and his mouth descended on one breast, he moaned into her skin as he found her wet and ready for him, he soon had her panting on the edge he stopped what he was doing, she groaned in frustration, but then he moved to cover her with his body, he entered her slowly, inch by inch teasing her and torturing her, and at last he was fully sheathed, tight against the bundle of nerves that was crying out for one more touch! He groaned "So tight" he said, she clenched her muscles deliberately and he groaned again, then he moved once, out and back in, and she came!

Her muscles tightened around him as he stilled inside her, she could feel every millimetre, every ridge and detail and she gloried in the fact that Jack O'Neill was making love to her!

"Oh God!" he gasped "I aren't going to last long I'm afraid" she didn't care, she already had had the best sex of her life so far, anything more he gave her was bonus… he started moving as her muscles relaxed slightly but she felt herself build again immediately… OH! She had never had a multiple before, not without a lot more work! And even then she had been alone! She burned, ached, trembled, was over stimulated… she screamed in pleasure as he moved towards his own completion… they gasped as they held each other, sated, he rolled to the side, dragging her with him. He kissed her deeply running his hands up and down her spine, soothing her and helping her calm, her trembling subsided and he reached behind him, where he had shoved the cover, he covered them both up and they fell to sleep.

**0o0o0o **

"JACK! SAM!" Daniels voice came through the closed door, and he thumped "OW!" he said, Sam rolled onto her back snorting at the picture in her mind of Daniel thumping the door and hurting himself. Then she remembered what had happened and rolled back to face the other person in the bed.

He was looking at her as if he didn't believe she was real, she leant over and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I think it must be time to get up" she said, and sat up, looking for her clothes. He had not moved, had not reacted to her in any way, she looked at him "Jack?" she asked

He sat up, and ran his hand over his face and then into his hair "Carter…" he said… she felt the blood rush out of her face. He regretted it, he was going to tell her it was a mistake and break her heart! She grabbed the sheet and sat upright, she looked around in panic now, she needed her clothes! She stood up and almost fell to the floor as he grabbed the sheet to stop her. "Wait…" She noticed a square outline in the wall and hoped it was a drawer, she left the sheet and made it to the panel, it did indeed hide her clothes she grabbed them and held them before her as a shield.

He rose from the bed and moved towards her, she had never felt so vulnerable in her life. She closed her eyes and lifted her face "Thor, get me out of here" she felt the transporter beam and suddenly she was in an identical room, with no one else there.


	14. Chapter 14

14

It was less than five minutes later that she heard him banging on the door, she curled in the corner of the bed, ashamed of what she had done, she felt betrayed by his rejection. Had she not risked everything to be with him? Even if she had not planned it that way? He had said he loved her, she had heard him! And it wasn't as if she was cheating on Pete, she had broken up with him before they even set out on this mission. She had gone through torture and torment and the moment she felt safe he snatched her comfort away from her!

"SAM!" he shouted and thumped the door

Thor appeared in the room, she hated the little man, in fact she hated the whole damn race! They had goaded her into this, and the result was that she had lost everything.

"MAJOR OPEN THIS DOOR!"

"Major Carter" the singsong voice spoke "We feel it would be best if you saw O'Neill, he is in danger of hurting himself against the door, however we will not transport him in, nor will we open the door without your say so" she tried to stem the tears that were falling, but she knew it was futile.

"THAT'S AN ORDER MAJOR!"

"I don't want to see him" she whispered. The small alien nodded.

"I will make sure you are not disturbed" he said and disappeared, the sounds of banging on the door faded until they were gone, she wasn't sure if he got tired or if Thor could vary the thickness of the soundproofing, which ever, she didn't care, she just replayed over and over the night before…what had she done wrong? Why had he rejected her? Wasn't she good for him? She lay on the bed, grateful that it wasn't the one from last night, she couldn't have coped with the smell of sex.

**0o0o0o **

It must have been several hours later when Thor appeared again, he had a tray of food, proper human food. She sat up and took it from him.

"Thanks" she said

"Major Carter… we will be in Earths Solar system in 4 hours, we will return you at that time" she nodded… return her where though? She definitely didn't want to go to the SGC, there was no one at home for her. She would think about it.

"There is something we think you should see" oh no! They had caught her like this the night before!

"I don't want to know Thor" she told him "Your last hologram caused enough pain"

Still, another hologram appeared, Daniel and Jack were sat against a wall, Daniel had his mouth open as if in the middle of saying something, Jack had his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees.

"THOR!" she snapped "I don't want to know!"

"It would be beneficial to you" he said. "Just say the word 'Play' when you change your mind" he left in a beam of light again.

She was tired of being manipulated, talking to Thor was like talking to Pete that last time, she spoke but it was as if she had said nothing!

She decided that she would watch and listen to the recording, but that no matter what she would not let it influence her… and she knew she was lying even as she thought it.

"Play" she sighed

"pned?" Said Daniel

"Oh GOD! Danny, I really screwed up!" his voice was muffled by the fact that he had not removed his hands.

"JACK?!" Daniel was annoyed for some reason.

"Ok… I must have fallen asleep when I was watching Carter… Sam" she started when she heard him use her given name, it had been a long time since she had heard him say it. "Next thing I know I'm in a bed, and having a nightmare. I woke up, went back to sleep, had the same nightmare, woke again… I was sweating and shaking… you know…" Daniel nodded, they all knew, even Teal'c, they all had nights where they had woken up, even nights when they had woken everyone else up. He dropped his hands, he looked…old, his face lined with new pain.

"Then suddenly she was there, she was in bed with me, I…God Daniel! We made love, I thought it was just another dream, I mean why the hell would she want to make love to ME?" she could hear the self loathing in his voice, and see in his face his doubts, and insecurities. "It was good, hell it was the best I'd had, she was perfect, honestly perfect, which made it seem even more like a dream… then I woke up, or thought I did, and she was still there and she kissed me, and suddenly it didn't feel like a dream any more, so I reacted…"

"What did you do Jack?" the younger man asked softly

"I called her Carter." she could tell by Daniels face he didn't realise what that meant. "You never wonder why I never call her Sam and she always calls me Sir or Colonel?" he asked

"Well yes, I've even asked a couple of times, if you recall" Daniel replied

"It's because while ever we call each other that we hold a certain distance from each other, before we fell in… before we developed feelings for each other we could say Sam or Jack, but since we… well it's a defence mechanism we developed. Me calling her Carter like that, it was as if I slapped her in the face! Damn I didn't mean it, but I wasn't sure it was REAL!"

"So what now?" the younger man asked

"No idea" was the reply… "but I'll be damned if I'm going to let her slip away now"

"What about Pete?" Daniel asked.

"She must have finished with him, I know her. She would never have made love to me while still seeing him." At least he didn't think she was a whore! Who was she kidding, everything he said made sense, it was obvious he loved her, and god help her she loved him, but still she could not shake the deep hurt he had caused her. She needed to think! The hologram turned off, leaving her sat looking into space.

**0o0o0o **

She went towards the door and it opened, Jack and Daniel both fell into the room, the hologram had not shown the outline of the door, so she had not realised they were there. She stepped over them and walked towards the bridge of the ship. Not slowing or even acknowledging them as they caught up with her.

She had decided, for now she would act as if nothing had happened and see what he was going to do. She would return to work and continue on.

She was just in time to see them drop out of hyperspace into Earth orbit and she watched Teal'c gather together the ordnance that was left over from the attack on the replicators and then everyone was beamed back into the 'gate room.

She waited until Dr Weir appeared and headed for the infirmary, making sure she did not pause along the way and give the men an opportunity to talk to her.

She was first in, and first out of the post mission exam and headed straight for her quarters where she called Cassie, hoping she was not going to get the girl into trouble. Cells had not been available when she was at the Academy and she had not bothered to keep abreast of the rules governing their use. Luckily Cassie was on a night out, or they had a very noisy room, and she was able to assure herself that everything was OK with the girl, even if she couldn't share what was on her mind, she was overjoyed to hear the Colonel was back.

She contemplated calling Mark, or even his wife, but she was not close to either of them… she realised she had no one to turn to, no one to share what she was feeling, except her team, and she didn't want to share with them, they already knew enough… or too much!

Someone knocked on her door. She ignored it… it had to be either Daniel or the Colonel, and she wished to speak with neither. The sound did not repeat.

The next morning she gathered her clean clothes from the laundry bag that had been dropped in her room and took a towel and soap bag, headed out for the showers. The Colonel had his own tiny bathroom but she was not high enough on the pecking order for one of her own, she had not been out of her room more than five seconds when Daniel came around the corner. She walked straight past him… she wished they would leave her alone, she could work things out much quicker if they didn't keep confusing her!

"Sam…" he started, she kept moving "Look, I know something happened…" she turned a corner onto the corridor with the female locker room "Jack needs to see you and talk" she arrived at the door and entered. She was safe, at least until she had to leave again.

She took a long hot shower and she was just finished when she heard the offworld activation warning, she decided to use the opportunity to leave.

She got back to her quarters unnoticed. Maybe she would be better leaving the mountain? Fresh air, yeah that's what she needed.

She grabbed her civvies, changed and made her way out.


	15. Chapter 15

15

She was back! He had no idea where she had been, but he knew she had been gone quite a while. He waited until she passed him and turned his vehicle and followed her, she didn't go home though… she headed to a small motel on the edge of Canyon Park, she parked, but didn't get a room, and she headed out into the wilderness.

"SAM!" he shouted, keeping his right hand in his pocket to make sure the ring box didn't fall out "Wait up!" he saw her close her eyes and stand still, waiting for him.

"Pete, what do you want?" she asked, she sounded tired, and looked upset, he put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him, even though she tried to get free.

"I was worried babe" he told her reasonably "you were gone for so long, and you really need to have a word with that man on the switchboard, he got almost rude when I called yesterday! You should put him on report" he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek but she moved at the last second. "Sam?" he enquired

"Pete, we broke up, what are you doing here?"

"Are you feeling OK? You haven't caught some weird alien virus have you?" he felt her forehead and noticed her wince when he did. "everything go OK on your last mission?" he asked her

She sighed "No, no I can't say it went OK" she drew in a breath, and then expelled it violently "No, actually almost everything that could go wrong did"

"You're home now, that's what counts, safe and sound" she nodded, he moved behind her and started to massage her shoulders, he knew she loved it when he did that.

"Look, why don't we go home," he said as she relaxed into his hands "You hungry? I'm starving. C'mon, we'll go inside, I'll whip you up some pancakes." She stiffened suddenly and pushed away from him, a look of panic in her eyes

"WHAT?" she almost screamed "Get away from me!" she backed off and held her head in her hands "no…no… I'm not there! He set me free!" he tried to grab her again, to comfort her, but she hit him, once in the stomach and then she kicked each of his knees, he fell to the floor as she ran into the untamed national park.

**0o0o0o **

What the hell was she doing? She had several cuts on her hands and a couple on her face caused by branches as she pushed her way though. She had almost allowed Pete to worm his way back into her life, it was only when he said exactly the same thing that Fifth had said that she had come to her senses! Actually that wasn't accurate, she had lost it at that point, she had only come to her senses once she had got away from him.

She stopped and looked around, she could see Alta Vista road from where she stood, she made for it directly. If Pete was hanging around when she got to her car she would explain once more about breaking up, and then if he still didn't get the message she would call the police, she had had enough of men screwing her up!

He was nowhere in sight when she got back to the car park, so she got in and drove home. She watered her plants and was just about to start cooking when the doorbell chimed… she decided it was a toss up, Daniel, the Colonel or Pete, and none of them were welcome, but two had keys.

She heard the key in the lock, Daniel walked in, she sighed.

"Hey" he said "you left early" she nodded. "you have a visitor" he gestured behind him and her father stepped into view

"Sammie" he said opening his arms… she had never needed her father more than she did now! She rushed to him, Daniel evidently got the message he wasn't wanted and left.

"Oh dad!" she hugged him tightly, he responded "I screwed up!" she sobbed into his chest

"Come on, let's sit down and you can tell me" he guided her into the living room and sat her next to him on the sofa. She explained about Pete, and the break-up, and about his refusal to accept it.

Selmak took over her father "Samantha, I worry for you, this man, he could be dangerous, I have seen obsession several times, and it usually does not turn out well"

"I have decided to have one more go, and if he doesn't get the message this time, I'm going to get an injunction against him, but as he is a police man and it will affect his career I think it only fair that he is warned.

"Maybe" Selmak said "however I would suggest you make sure you meet him in a public place, do not leave yourself vulnerable" she knew it was slightly disloyal but Sam was very glad her father had blended, she had gained another parent, one with a hell of a lot more patience than the old Jacob Carter, and she felt she could say almost anything to her/him, and not be judged.

"I have no intention of being alone with him, this afternoon he surprised me… I'll make sure I don't go walking in the wilderness again" she said laying a gentle hand on his arm.

"And now about Colonel O'Neill?" the symbiote said… Sam looked at him in shock.

"What do you know?" she asked

"He came to my quarters and told me what happened on Thors ship, I was tempted to show him some of the methods of torture I had learnt, and Jacob almost attacked him, but then we decided to see what YOU thought, before going back and rearranging his physiology." She snorted at the thought of Selmak fighting the Colonel, she wouldn't have given her father very good odds, especially against the former Special Ops Colonel, but with the superior strength and healing of the symbiote she guessed he could give him a run for his money.

"It wasn't his fault Selmak, if it was anyones it was mine, he thought it was a dream, I knew it wasn't" though to be fair her dreams were not half as good as the reality turned out to be! She could see where he was confused if it was the same for him.

"Samantha, Jacob has known how you two felt about each other since the day he saw you in DC together, back then he was sure you were having an affair, it was only when George assured him nothing went on between you two that he accepted it. But we have been waiting ever since we blended for you to get your head out of your… Jacob that is a horrible saying…sorry I am using his vernacular when translating from my native language… waiting for you to wake up and see what is in front of you"

Sam smiled at the symbiotes reluctance to use the common phrase. She thought about what he/she had said though…

"When you both admitted to feelings when you were in the Za'tarc detector we were sure that at last you would do something, but you are both so stubborn, almost as stubborn as Jacob"

"Hey, I'm right here" her father said, pretending to be offended, Sam giggled.

"Oh dad… what am I going to do?" she asked. She honestly wanted an answer… but knew the only one who could answer it was herself.

The doorbell chimed again, her father rose and went to the door, she heard footsteps coming to the room, and another set heading into the kitchen, she looked up, and sighed… she had spent a lot of the day sighing, and it didn't look like it was going to improve.

"Hey" he said

"Hey" she replied, looking at the table as if she had never seen it before.

"Selmak and dad thought I should come around after he had a chance to talk to you" he said, she should have known, it was an obvious set-up, she could hear her father putting the coffee on, even though he had given it up himself.

"Sam" he sat beside her and with one finger under her chin he pulled her face towards him "I am so sorry about how I reacted" she knew he was, she closed her eyes so he couldn't see the pain in them.

"I've had a word with the president" he said, "Dr. Weir told me this morning that I had been promoted to Brigadier General and they were going to give me the SGC. I told him I would run it, but as a civilian, like she had" she opened her eyes and looked at him… why would he give up his career? It was obvious he could climb all the way to the CoS, the President loved him!

"Colonel…I mean General…" she started bit he put his finger over her lips.

"Sam, I retired" he said "drop the rank" she shook her head

"No!" she told him "call him back, tell him you changed your mind, you can't give up the AF"

"I can and I have, there are things more important to me than the air force, as a civilian I can run the base, but I can also have you" he leaned forward and kissed her lightly, she didn't respond to start with, still running the thought of him leaving through her mind, but she felt his tongue brush her lips and suddenly she didn't care any more, she pressed herself against him, greedily asking for more from him.


	16. Chapter 16

16

"AHEM!" her father said loudly as he stepped into the room, Sam blushed, so did Jack she noticed.

"It may not be that easy" he told the couple, Selmak had evidently taken a back seat "You need to look at the rules of conduct again, just because you aren't military does not mean you can… whatever" he waved his hand in their direction "Sam still IS in the AF, it could be that as her boss, even though not in the service, she is not allowed to fraternise with you, she may have to leave as well" Jack moved away from her.

"I won't have her throw her career away" he said, Sam was annoyed, so he could do it, but he wouldn't allow her to? Since when did he make all the decisions?

"Excuse me!" she said loudly "I decide what I am and am not going to do… ME! If I want to quite the AF I will and if I want to stay I will. I love you Jack but that doesn't give you the right to make my decisions"

"Honey" he said, and he looked abashed "I didn't mean it like that… it's just… you have everything still going for you, it wouldn't be right if you gave up your rank."

"And what happens if we have children Jack? Do I take maternity leave and then come back? What, do I drop the baby off at daycare on my way to some unexplored planet on the edge of the Crab Nebula? Wouldn't it be better if you kept your rank and I became the civilian?"

"Other people have families you know on base" he said, but his whole face and attitude had softened when she mentioned kids… she knew how much he wanted a chance to be a dad again.

"Yeah, but they also usually have a partner who looks after them, especially when the base is locked down, or a mission takes longer than expected" her father nodded his head, she knew he agreed, her mother had given up being a nurse to look after Mark and her. "We don't have to decide on that just yet, but we DO have to decide on what YOU have to do!"

She could see she had reached him. She knew he didn't agree with nannies and sitters bringing up the kids, especially not when they were pre-school. She watched him as he thought about it.

"I'll have a word with George Hammond, see what he says… Dad… any ideas?" he asked

"None" Selmak replied "However if you do get into trouble over what has happened so far, you are always welcome to join us, we would hate to visit you in Leavenworth"

That was a good point, they had already broken the frat regs all to hell, good job Kinsey was out of the picture! The men decided they were hungry and her father commented that it had been ages since he had had a decent steak, so they decided on O'Malleys, Daniel and Teal'c were waiting outside in the truck, she had to laugh… so much for a quiet night in to think!

**0o0o0o **

The car she had seen a couple of times before was down the street as she got into the front of the vehicle. She remembered what Jack had said when he thought she couldn't hear him.

"Jack…" she said looking back

"Yeah?" he asked

"Your friend from Special Ops… is Pete still having me followed? And is that him?" he looked at her shocked, she could see him working out exactly what he had told her when she was 'asleep', so what she knew. He altered his rear view mirror, and snapped open his phone.

"Alex? That you following me again?" he asked "Yeah… well don't let on you have seen me, as far as he knows… oh wait" he covered the phone up "Did you tell Shanahan I was back?" he asked, she thought about it and shook her head "Yeah Alex, let him think I'm still MIA, report she went out with her father, Daniel and Murray for a steak… yeah, and Alex… owe ya one for this" the car started up and pulled a U turn, heading out the other end of the row.

"OK, we can have some fun now, undisturbed" he got in the truck and started the engine, the three men wanted to know what had happened and Sam explained. Her fathers eyes flashed, she could tell Selmak was controlling him to stop him trying something stupid.

By the time they got to O'Malleys she and Jack had persuaded the others that everything was under control, and the evening went fine once the dinner arrived.

**0o0o0o **

Jack was officially promoted, and on the personal recommendation of the President himself she was also bumped up a rank, their personal life was in limbo and neither of them felt totally comfortable about sneaking around having an affair while things got sorted, but they tried not seeing each other and it was worse, it was like they were addicted!

The whole mountain was under lockdown for over a week, while Anubis jumped from person to person attempting to escape, it was only by luck that the already dying Colonel Vaselov persuaded the Goa'uld to jump back into him and she was able to alter the dialling sequence so he went to a planet in an ice age with no DHD.

All she wanted was a long hot bath, maybe a bottle of wine and some bubbles, she knew Jack would be busy and probably unable to get off the base while he explained the number of casualties, Daniel had been shot by both members of SG1, as well as by the base commander! Luckily she had used a Zat to neutralise the people in her way, but others weren't so lucky. One SF shot by Jack himself on his way to the 'gate room was in critical condition, and 3 others from various attacks by hosts were seriously wounded, 4 had minor injuries, like Daniel.

She let herself into the house and started running the bath, she poured a generous amount of lavender scented bubbles into the water and headed for the fridge to get the wine she knew she had put there before the lockdown, she was trying to locate the corkscrew when she heard a noise by the front door, she shouted out, maybe Daniel? No he wasn't allowed off base yet, Teal'c? She doubted it… she got to the front door, it was slightly open, maybe she hadn't pushed it quite too?

She felt something moving behind her, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she spun around, whoever it was, was fast, she felt a cloth over her nose and mouth and before she could prevent it she had breathed in a lung full of chloroform. Darkness descended.

**0o0o0o **

He had been waiting for ages! No one had come out of the mountain all week, he had been watching. The PI he had employed had told him there was some sort of security lockdown and seeing as he had a week off anyway he decided to save a bit of money and tell the man he would watch himself. Now he had a problem.

He had initially planned to get Sam to marry him, and they could spend his whole holiday on honeymoon, but as per usual the SGC ruined his life! Now he should be at work in less than 48 hours, and that didn't leave enough time for much at all.

He had called Mark and told him about the wedding, it seemed Sam had forgotten to tell him they were engaged, bless her, she was probably too excited to think straight!

Unfortunately Mark couldn't make the wedding, a shame really, because he really didn't want to invite the snake infested General to walk her down the aisle, she would just have to do without. Maybe she would like Amy to be her maid of honour? He would have to introduce them before the wedding.

He had everything at her apartment ready; maybe they could have a delayed honeymoon when he had built up more time off? Or he could maybe arrange a holiday when he swapped to CS PD… make sure there was time between finishing in one PD and starting in the next?

All he had to do was wait now, Sam would wake soon, she would be thrilled with the dress he bought her!


	17. Chapter 17

17

Sam swam back into full consciousness slowly, she could hear a TV in the background, mindless tinned laughter and cat calls. There was an unpleasant smell, but she couldn't quite say what it was, she tried to open her eyes, but they were covered by something, and she was sat upright, being held in place by what felt like ropes.

"Oh good, you're awake" he said

"Pete?" her mouth was dry, she could hardly talk "what's happening?"

"Don't peek" he said, as if they were playing a game, she couldn't lift her hands anyway, her wrists were tied lower than the seat of the chair. "now, I wanted to introduce you to Amy, I hope you two are going to be best of friends" he told her.

She tried to pull her hands free, her legs, anything… he knew what he was doing when he tied her, she was helpless. She decided to play along.

"Who's Amy?" she said calmly

"My ex wife" he told her "Did I mention I didn't blame her for leaving me…? Well she decided she had been wrong and she came back… we're good friends now, and I'm hoping you two get along well enough that you have her as your maid of honour"

"Erm… well I was planning on Julie… Marks wife?" she said "I take it Mark is going to be your best man" if she could talk to Mark he could alert someone as to what was happening.

"He can't make it, neither of them can, I invited them but they can't get time off work" She hoped Mark would try to contact her father… the number they left with him was the SGC Generals office… Jack would answer.

"So… when do I get to meet Amy?" she asked, she heard him giggle, not laugh, he giggled a high pitched and worrying sound.

"She's right here… ready?" she nodded and he took off the blind fold. Sam blinked a couple of times, and then could focus on the scene before her… she turned to the side and threw up.

**0o0o0o **

Pete continued to talk to both Amy and herself, not seeming to mind if he got no reply, he must be used to it. Amy must have been dead at least a month by the look, she was tied to a kitchen chair, exactly the same way Sam was, her body was dried and the skin was pulled well back from the orifices, her mouth gaped and her eyes were dried in their sockets.

He showed Sam her 'wedding dress' and she made sure she was vocal in her praise, she was not sure he would turn violent, as Fifth had done, or if he was just going to continually ask for praise and reassurance, it was over 36 hours since she had been taken, and now Jack would be actively looking for her!

"I wanted us to get married in the morning" he told her "but there's an APB out for me, I don't think we will be going out for a while… that OK with you Amy?" he leaned towards Sam "She hasn't been out much since she came back, I think she is sorry she left"

Sam agreed. "I'm sure she is, after all, she knew you were a cop when she married you, she should have known what she was letting herself in for"

"Don't be too harsh" he said "not everyone is a super hero you know, we can't all be as strong and tough as you, Amy is nothing like you… are you babe?" he addressed the corpse.

"Pete, could I have a drink please?" she asked, he rose and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge, he placed it on the table beside her "erm Pete? I can't reach it" she said

"Sure you can, it's right there next to you" she looked at him, wondering how to get through to him, it was obvious he had forgotten he had tied her up, and he seemed unable to see the bonds stopping her. Maybe this was what killed Amy?

"I hurt my arms when I went through the 'gate last week, could you help me please?" she asked

"Oh sorry babe" he rose and uncapped the bottle, holding it while she drank.

He turned the TV up and went to the door. "I just need a few groceries" he said "you two get acquainted, I'm sure you will love each other."

He left the apartment. She waited a couple of minutes and started screaming at the top of her voice, either the neighbours were used to a lot of noise, or there were no neighbours, no one came to see who was screaming, no one banged on the floor or ceiling in protest, she was hoarse by the time he returned.

"How long have you lived here?" she asked him

"I don't live here" he said "Amy does" she wondered if his station knew about this place, if anyone would think to look here, if anyone knew where here was?

"I've never seen your house" she said "where are we going to live after we get married?" he thought about it.

"I'll buy us a new house in the Springs" he said "though when you give up work there won't be any reason to live there will there… what do you think?" she wasn't sure if he was talking to her or Amy but decided to answer.

"I was thinking of Cassie" she said "I want to be close to her even though she has left home now… and I tend to lecture at the Academy remember, so I need to be close"

"Oh no, you won't be doing that" he told her "you will be too busy, we're going to get started on those kids, and I was thinking of a dog…"

Sam decided to stop talking, she was tired, she ached and most of all she was frightened, she did not know if he would snap at something she said, but she didn't want to fade into the background. It was obvious he would treat her the same whether she was dead or alive, and she wanted to make sure it was the latter condition she was found in. even though she was tied in such an uncomfortable position, she fell to sleep.

**0o0o0o **

It was two long days before they found her. Two days of Pete trying to make her and Amy friends, two days of him deep in delusion. She almost felt sorry for him, but the lack of privacy and the fact that he had not allowed her to use the bathroom meant she was angry at him as much as she pitied him.

Teal'c was first through the door, his Zat hit Pete without seeming to aim. Then Jack and a couple of police, next was someone she vaguely recognised, but not quite, then Dr. Brightman and Daniel.

The police took one look at her and Amy and slapped cuffs onto Pete, they carried him out of the door prone.

Teal'c and Jack cut the ropes holding her and Jack massaged her arms and legs, she was more interested in getting out of her soiled clothes.

The doctor did her usual, pulse, pen light in the eyes… etc, and then helped her into the bathroom, where she insisted on getting a shower, much to her own amazement. She had thought her first impulse would be to get out… but it wasn't, it was to get clean. Brightman stopped her scrubbing her skin when it turned red and sore looking, and the doctor exited the room and found some sweat pants and a shirt, probably Amys for her to wear.

Jack insisted on carrying her down stairs and to the car, the strange man held the doors open as SG1 exited but he stayed behind when they left, Jack giving him a half salute. She wanted to sit in the car herself but Jack held her on his knees and wouldn't let her off.

They headed straight for the SGC and she spent a couple of hours in the infirmary until her limbs started working properly, she had lost some weight and needed liquids, but Brightman said if she promised to eat and drink she could be released to her quarters.


	18. Chapter 18

18

The boys were all there as soon as the words left the doctors mouth, Jack dispatched Daniel to the commissary with instructions to get them all food and Teal'c brought up a wheelchair, even though she insisted she could walk.

They went to her quarters and as soon as Daniel appeared she asked what she wanted to know…

"So, how did you find me?"

"Alex" was the short answer, she waited for the rest.

"When I got to your house and found the bathroom and bedroom flooded I knew something was wrong, I called in T and Danny and we searched all over, there was nothing!"

"I wanted to call in the police" Daniel said "but Jack wouldn't, he said he had that friend of his, so he called him"

"Alex knew Pete had another apartment or house, but he had only a vague idea where it was, so we split up, Danny and T, went one way, Alex another and me the last… we searched a whole neighbourhood until somehow Alex found you, he called us in, we came… end of story"

"He is really mad you know" she said sadly

"Who was the other…" he waved his hand

"His ex wife" she shuddered

"Well the police have jurisdiction, we will have to wait on what they find and decide, at least no one will believe him if he spills the SGC, not after what they found in his place."

She couldn't help it, suddenly it all came crashing down on her, she started shaking uncontrollably, Jack sat on the bed beside her and pulled her into his embrace…

"Give us some space" he told the others, they rose "Daniel, tell Brightman, she may need sedation" she heard him and she knew she was going into shock, but she realised she didn't care if she ended up back in the infirmary, she just wanted him to hold her and never let go!

He stroked her hair and held her as she shook, the doctor arrived and gave her an injection and she felt the muscles relax slightly, allowing her to stop the violent shuddering, she lay back, still wrapped in his arms and fell asleep.

**0o0o0o **

It had all made Sam think… and she had thought for over a month now, and she decided that she had had enough of danger, she spoke to 'Uncle' George and to her father again and decided to ask for a transfer away from the front lines.

She asked for a formal interview with Jack so she could explain her decision on the record.

"Come in" he said, she opened up the door, his desk was piled with reports, no matter how much he tried to catch up he never managed to clear them, she smiled.

"Sir" she came to attention, he looked up surprised to see her in full uniform

"Carter?" he said automatically

"Sir, I wish to request a transfer to Area 51, to work under General Parsons in the R&D division" she placed the formal request on his desk in front of him. She noticed him looking hurt, but she really couldn't do this as Sam, she had to do it as Colonel Carter. "I have requested that I be allowed to work on secondment here at the SGC for the majority of the time, evaluating new tech as it is brought onto the planet and assigning work details to manage backwards engineering" she waited, he didn't understand.

"I also have a request for removal of my birth control implant" she slipped that paper in front of him too, "and I have asked for and been granted, subject to your allowing me to transfer, two weeks leave for personal reasons, next month"

"Personal reasons?" he asked still dazed by her wanting to leave him.

"Yes sir" she came out of attention and moved around to his side "I was hoping we could go on honeymoon" she said. Damn she had hoped she wouldn't break, but he looked so hurt she couldn't continue, she had to do something, he stood up and closed the blinds on the huge picture window that made up almost an entire wall. She was suddenly pressed against that same window as his body tried to occupy the same space as hers.

His mouth and hands attacked her, the only good thing about wearing class As was the skirt, which was soon up by her waist, they moved to a more stable wall as he thrust himself inside her, she had solved the frat regs problem and this was her reward… everything she ever wanted, in one 6'2" package! Normal was so overrated!


End file.
